I Only Have Eyes for You
by Blackbyrd
Summary: As Ryder rejects his own feelings for his best bro, he uses the elusive Katie as his clutch—but will the wizard behind the curtain spin a sweet spell over him, or leave him hexed with despair when she bears her true face? Ryder/Jake (Jyder), all rights reserved to Glee—just a harmless fanfic.
1. Coward

-**Coward**-

"Wait for it… Billy Idol!" Will looked around the choir room with anticipation, but none of the students seemed excited or impressed. "C'mon guys, Billy Idol. I figured we'd do a week on his second album, and to spice things up…"

"Are you going to have us compete in pairs and the winner wins a dinner at Breadstix?" Tina blurted out.

"Well…"

"Come on, Mr. Shue, that's too old school," Artie groaned.

Wade* snapped his fingers. "Nn nn, Mr. Shue, we need some funk in this room. I'm tired of reenacting the soundtrack of a hillbilly's love life."

"Yes!" Blaine said. The other students agreed.

"Billy Idol is a classic, and I think it would build some appreciation within all of you."

"We would appreciate, Mr. Shue, if we did something more current," said Tina.

"Preach, sista!" Wade fanned himself and the students ganged up on Will.

"More Katy Perry!"

"I want a mashup of Brüno Mars and Michael Jackson."

Sam stomped furiously. "Linkin Park!"

"We should do Beyoncé!" Marley shouted.

"We did Beyoncé a couple weeks ago, though," Jake whispered to her. He was seated beside her, his arm draped around her shoulder. "When we did Diva."

"We need more rock, though," Ryder said. "There's not enough thrill, and rockstars are like scary divas."

"I don't know…" Will wasn't having it.

"Ooh, I have an idea!" Sugar stood in her seat. "Okay, Mr. Shue can pair us up and give each of us a Billy Idol song, then we find a more current song that's similar."

"That's actually kind of brilliant," Blaine said.

"Amen!" Artie shouted. "I'm for it."

"Alright, since you guys are so adamant against poor, defenseless, Billy Idol, I'll let you guys pick a song that matches." Will clapped his hands together. "But, if I don't think your songs match up, I am taking complete control of the set list for Regionals."

"I kind of forgot about Regionals," Jake whispered to Marley.

"Yeah, is that ever going to happen?" She whispered back.

"Alright, everybody pair up. I want to know who's singing with who by rehearsal tomorrow." Will shouldered his laptop case and his clipboard, then he waved at the band members as he left the room. The choir room immediately exploded into noise as the New Directions fought over their partners. Ryder sat, cold in his chair, and his eyes slowly drifted sideways to Jake. He worked on the words carefully, then he turned in his seat.

"Hey, Jake…" Jake looked up at Ryder, wide-eyed and curious.

"Oh, I got it!" Marley interrupted, drawing Jake's attention back to her. "Jake, we could sing _Marry the Night_."

"Lady Gaga?" Jake made a disgusted frown.

"Yeah, but the song is similar to_ White Wedding_."

"So, we're partners?" Jake asked. Ryder watch the exchange nervously, and he refrained from saying anything.

"Well, I kind of assumed we would be, because, you know…" Marley flashed a bright smile. "But we don't have to be."

"I mean, we have until tomorrow to tell Mr. Shue who we're singing with. It'd be best to think this through." Jake turned to Ryder. "You were going to say something?"

"What?" Ryder blinked.

"Yeah, you just called my name."

"Um—well, it's not really—uh…" Ryder gripped his knee anxiously. _I can do this. Just ask_. Ryder shook his head. He'd told himself he was not going to. But he really wanted to. Besides, there was—_BRAHM BRAHM_. Ryder jumped, startled, as his phone went off.

"Whoa, damn that's loud!" Jake winced and Marley covered her ears.

"You're so lucky that didn't go off while Mr. Shue was talking."

"You okay, dude?" Jake watched Ryder swipe through his phone with some concern. Ryder stood quickly and nodded.

"Sure, I gotta go."

"Ryder!" Jake called out in vain.

Ryder left the choir room and started toward his locker as he read the text message. Another update from Katie: _**How was glee rehearsals, Mega Stud?**_ Ryder grinned and typed back: *_**Pretty fun. We finllay got Shue to be slightly sell of a hardass**_. Ryder wandered aimlessly through the halls, smiling again when he got a reply. _**Huh? Run that by me again? **_Ryder looked at his past message again and swore. He typed as carefully as he could: _**Sorry. L's are my worst. I feel so stupid sometimes**_. He reached his locker and pulled out his Geography and English textbooks, then he got another reply. _**Don't be sorry, Ryder. You deal with something other people wouldn't understand, yet you still manage. You're not just sweet, or cute, you're brave, too. Gtg! :P **_Ryder's face glowed, and his eyes felt hot. He was still grinning at the text when he felt the devil's presence behind him.

"Mm, a scandal." Kitty.

Ryder spun on one foot to face her. "Why are you lurking behind me?"

"Besides checking out that grade-d Bieber booty? I needed a reminder that mediocrity can be cute, too."

"What—are you insulting me, or what?"

"Wow, you're slow. Anyway, do you have a duet partner? Or did Jake reject you in favor of the friendly neighborhood vagina?"

"What?" Ryder blushed furiously, though he still didn't understand half of what the girl was saying.

"I'm asking if you want to be my partner for this week's lesson."

"I don't know, I kind of want to weigh my options."

Kitty raised an eyebrow, a move she probably practiced in a mirror to be as scathing as possible. "_What_ options?"

"Um, I'll get back to you on that."

"Sure… Tell Katie I said 'sup'!" She grinned devilishly as she pranced away, parting the crowd in the hallway. Ryder's previous ecstasy had vanished, and now he had an anxious disdain for Kitty, but not so much that he wanted to back out of being her partner. She was right; he didn't have any options. Then he saw Sam in the hallway.

"Hey, Sam!" Ryder ran up to his locker.

"Wassup, mini-me?"

"Mini—whatever. Can I ask you something?"

"I already got you." Sam turned and rolled up his shirt. "The pelvic thrust is how you want to start it. That's what gets the cougars throwing 20s at you."

"Whoa, whoa, what're you talking about?"

"Just a quick pointer for when you start stripping. Personally, I find the fireman costume gets them worked up the best."

Ryder shook his head. "Do you have a partner for this week's lesson?"

"Yup. Me and Brittany are stealing this competition. You freshmen don't have a chance."

"I'm actually a sophomore."

"Then how come you didn't exist until, like, this year." They blinked at each other, and Ryder looked away.

"Anyway, I don't know what to do. Maybe I should just skip out on this lesson."

"Why? The person you wanted to sing with is taken?"

"Kind of…"

"That happens all the time. Even though Brittany is my girl, personally, I like singing with Tina or Blaine. The harmonies just work. My advice is: never skip out. Life's too short." Sam clasped Ryder's shoulder and stepped past him. Ryder looked after him with a frown, feeling as if he was back at square 1. Then he saw Jake sipping from a water fountain, his muscled back stretching as he bent over. Ryder's eyes lit up, and he felt frozen and warm at the same time, like he'd been trapped in a volcanic glacier, images of smiling-Jake scratched into every facet of ice and every tongue of fire.

"Ryder?" Blaine was suddenly blocking Ryder's line of sight.

"Oh, Blaine, hey," Ryder said.

"You okay?"

"Of course."

"Alright… have you seen Sam? He doesn't have a partner yet, does he?"

"Yeah, but I think he wants to sing with you." Ryder suddenly got an idea. "Wait, do you want to be my partner? I've got to be honest, I don't even know who Billy Idol is."

"Google is your best friend, and, um, I'll get back to you on that."

Ryder groaned. "Great, that's what I said to Kitty."

"Why don't you ask Jake to be your partner?"

"Jake?! Why Jake? I mean, I couldn't care less if he was my partner or not, I just want to get the lesson. Why would I pick Jake?"

"… Because you two sing together a lot?" Blaine frowned and rolled his eyes. "Was I this bad around Sam?"

"Huh?"

"It's just an assignment. Go ask your _friend_ if he wants to partner up. Like you've done many times before." Blaine flashed him two thumbs-up, then he slipped past him. Ryder looked at Jake again, who had now turned and returned his gaze. Their eyes locked, and the cheery expression on Jake's face slowly faded, replaced by confusion. Ryder's mind popped like a game of _Perfection_ as he sorted through his memory bank of facial expressions, trying to figure out what in the hell was more appropriate than his gaping, jaw-hanging ogle. But then a pair of slender, pale hands covered Jake's eyes from behind, and Marley's giggling face appeared at his shoulder. The two of them laughed as Jake guessed who she was, then they kissed and walked down the hall. Ryder groaned and ran his hands through his hair.

_Forget this stupid assignment_, he thought. _I'm better off skipping rehearsal for another treatment tomorrow_. He'd been meeting with Dr. Chin to work on his dyslexia; most of the exercises conditioned his brain to see things like others saw them. It was exhausting, but better than spending an agonized hour in Glee Club. He was walking by the cafeteria when he saw a flash of blond hair amidst a group of girls. A slashed image of a face through the splayed strands caught his attention, and he spun around. The girls were quickly leaving through the side-door in the cafeteria, where Artie used his ramp, and Ryder ran after them. By the time he crossed the cafeteria and reached the door, they were gone. The crowd of students in the parking lot made his search impossible. Just for a moment, that face… he could've sworn…

_She's here? Katie goes to McKinley? _Ryder searched desperately through the crowds for flares of golden-blond. _No way. That had to be her. _He'd be skipping rehearsals, but he was seeking a different kind of treatment: a cure for his iniquitous attraction, and the doctor was the aloof Katie.

* * *

*** Note that I use masculine pronouns when referring to Wade, but feminine pronouns when referring to Unique. I hope I got that right.**

*** Also note that some of Ryder's text messages will be a bit scrambled. Here's some trivia for those who don't know: dyslexia isn't an optic disorder, it's a neurological disorder. The eyes work fine, but the brain collects optic data in a different order.**

**Well guys, this is my very first fanfic. I figured I'd take it slow and try to make something happen in 2 chapters. Be brutally honest with me, folks. – Blackbyrd.**


	2. Partners

**-Partners-**

_Africa_. That's what it said. _Uerpoe_. That wasn't right: _Europe_. He knew that. But even though he knew it, it didn't look like it until he focused hard enough on the board, and like a shattered kaleidoscope patched back together, the image became clear. Ryder sighed and jotted down notes in his notebook, the buzz of the teacher's voice fading as he tuned out Geography. His treatments were helping, but the effort it took was tiring. Why did he have to jump through hoops to read a sentence when everyone else ran through it with ease, and they didn't even try?

His eyes blurred over the faint blue lines on the paper, and he started to scribble a name. He'd drawn half of a heart around it when he realized it read "Jake". Glaring at the paper, Ryder wanted to scratch it out, but he was proud how he wrote it without screwing it up, like he unconsciously had the taste of the name etched into his cerebellum.

_No thoughts about Jake. None. I made a vow_. Ryder sighed and finished the other half of the heart, just for symmetry. A part of the treatment kind of had him obsessed with symmetry, and it made him feel whole. Even the letters in Jake's name carried a color balance—synesthesia, Dr. Chin called it. Ryder shook his head. _No, you're thinking about him again. Turn it into something else_! Ryder drew horns on the heart, then a pointy tail. He added bat-wings for the hell of it, and the next thing he knew, he had an army of organs gathered behind the heart while a fleet of bones were strike-bombing from above. _Jake would get a kick out of this_. Ryder cursed himself and held his head in his hands. He need a distraction. His mind wandered to a familiar face, the same face from the only picture he had of her, but one he'd grown so used to. He ran through her messages in his mind:

_**Sometimes, I feel so alone, even though I've finally found people who are there to help me. Maybe I don't want their help. Maybe I need it.**_

Ryder smiled to himself, feeling a little better.

_**You're really unique, Ryder. I wish I could kiss you sometimes, you just make my day.**_

He remembered that. Then just yesterday:

_**A friend of mine keeps saying "Be true to yourself", but I'm too scared. I'm not as brave as her. How can I proclaim a truth that I'm not even sure is a truth?**_

He wasn't sure how to respond to that one. What kind of truth wasn't always a truth? He'd told her that the moon wasn't always full to everyone on Earth, but to say "There's a full moon" even when the moon is invisible wasn't exactly a lie. He'd told her to just do it; quoting a certain Sam: "Life's too short."

Ryder leaned back in his seat and gazed out the classroom door, wishing the bell would ring already. Then he saw her. Eyes like dew, hair like strung gold, and a smile that was so fragile, and a little confused, that she reminded him of a glass doll. She caught his stare and her smile widened, even a hint of pink crossed her cheeks. Ryder thought he felt his heart stop, and time seemed to slow.

_Katie_. Ryder almost burst from his seat, but the teacher was shooting him a mean look. Unlike the other teachers, Mr. Crankers was not as supportive of Ryder's recently released condition, even though it was on his file. He had a solid "D" in the class; _Don't push it_. Ryder sat firm in his seat, his hands fidgeting with things, and his eyes shooting back and forth from the whiteboard to the hall. The clock crept along a slow melody, and a sluggish second and its family of four-hundred glacially slid by. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. When would class end?! Ryder drummed his pencil against the desk, but Crankers shot him another look. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. He wondered if the man was married. He was sure there was plenty of women out there with a fetish for comb-overs and messily-applied denture glue.

_Ring_! Ryder shot from his seat, gathering his stuff in his arms, and he ran out to the hallway. The girl had been heading toward the auditorium, so she must've been in one of the math classrooms. The crowd of students swelled up as he neared the next hall, then he was bottlenecked. He searched for a head of blond in the throng of students exiting the math rooms, but no luck.

_I guess not_. Ryder turned to see a wide-eyed Jake staring at him, amused.

"Don't tell me: you thought you saw the four-star Dragon Ball," Jake said coolly. Ryder stared back at him and a smile spread across his face. Then they both laughed. Jake playfully punched Ryder in the arm. "Are you coming to rehearsals?"

"Um…"

"I heard you were skipping out. Did you nab a partner?"

"Not yet. Kitty asked me."

"Well, I'm free too, so that's out there."

"You're not singing with Marley?"

"I might. I have until afterschool to figure it out."

"I don't think I can top her Lady Gaga idea, man."

"You don't have to. As long as it's fun." Jake grinned, and Ryder half-cringed, half-smiled back. He couldn't understand. He thought of Katie, he thought of Marley, even Kitty, the vivacious turn of their hips and the slope of their backs, their soft skin and Lite-Brite eyes. How could Jake send his stomach into overdrive when he still felt so affected by girls? Even now, he looked around and saw many a pretty girl, some he wanted to grab and kiss and hold tight, but Jake was… different. It wasn't the slope of his back or the turn of his hips—he didn't have hips. Or breasts. Or a bright shade of lipstick. Why was he twisted around his finger?

"Dude, I just farted. Check out the faces on everyone behind me," Jake said with a devilish grin. "3… 2… 1." Two Cheerios passing by suddenly picked up their pace, their noses twitching, and a boy who was just ogling the girls suddenly froze on the spot and started coughing violently. One girl dropped her books and covered her face, shouting, "Oh the humanity!"

"Man, that is sick!" Ryder laughed and nudged Jake. "Check out her face!"

"They're starting to point fingers. Let's jet." Jake snickered as they retreated from the scene. "Want to grab lunch? You skipped out the whole week when you got a text from that mysterious someone you refuse to talk about." He gave him a pointed look, but made no further inquiries.

"Yeah, I probably should eat anyway."

"Finally. You won't believe what I brought today." Jake rummaged through his backpack as they walked, then he showed Ryder a shining stashed object between two folders. It was an aluminum box of tobacco, as small as a box of altoids.

"Oh no, tell me you don't have weed in there."

"Nah, check it out." He opened the box slowly, then he looked around to see if anyone was watching. "It's not weed." Ryder peered into the box to see a carefully rubberband-wrapped deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

"No way, Yu-Gi—"

"Shhh!" Jake clamped a hand over Ryder's mouth. "You want everyone to hear?"

"Why do you have that in your bag?"

"I figured out of all the people I know at McKinley, you are the only one who will spend lunch with me behind the school speed dueling to the death."

Ryder shook his head with a laugh. "That's why."

"Why what?"

"Nothing. Let's play, bro."

"I'm sending your ass to the Shadow Realm." They laughed and hurried to the cafeteria.

* * *

Rehearsals were starting in a few minutes, and Ryder was nervously wiping the palms of his hands on his pants. He'd been so ready to skip Glee Club today and scan the parking lot and the bus loop for that girl, to find even a glimpse of Katie, but after Jake had broken straight through his defenses with a trap card and completely enchanted him with his Dark Magician of Chaos, Ryder knew that was no longer an option. His feet strode the path to Glee, following his heart, though his mind lingered in the opposite direction, and he recalled that last line as they packed up their cards.

"I haven't had this kind of fun in forever," Jake had said. "I mean, clean fun, without cops or teachers chasing me down."

"Technically, we're not allowed to bring cards to school."

"I'm sure we could convince teachers to uh…" Jake flashed a shiny holographic card, "turn a blind eye."

"Ha. Wait, is that a Destiny Hero?" Ryder nabbed the card and stared at it in awe.

"Hey, do you have a partner yet, for the Billy Idol thing?"

"Not really. Why?"

Jake shrugged and smiled sheepishly at Ryder. "Well, I mean we always partner up, we kind of have that super-duo thing going on. I thought maybe we could… if you want."

"Wow, um, sounds like a good idea."

"Sounds like a _great_ idea. We're the Mega Studs; screw everybody else."

"So, we're partners?"

Jake held out his hand. "Partners." Ryder took it, not even realizing he'd committed himself.

_So we're partners?_ Ryder blinked away the fresh memory as he stopped by his locker. He spotted Kitty talking in low tones with a girl by the water fountain. She caught Ryder's eye and tapped Kitty. Kitty waved her away and sauntered over to Ryder.

"You said you'd get back to me on that?" She said.

"Right, um, I actually have a partner now," Ryder said. He tried to wipe away his smile, worrying he was coming off as smug, but he was too happy.

"Oh? Who?"

"Jake."

"Jake?"

"Yeah. We partner up all the time anyway, so it just made sense."

"Of course it did."

"Maybe you should weigh your other options." Ryder paused and faked an expression of realization. "Oh right, _what_ options?"

"Cute. And I already had an arrangement prepared for us. I need a baritenor for this part."

"You can find someone else."

"Don't look so smug. What do you even know about Billy Idol?"

"Um, his name brings to mind… Adam Sandler? That's all I got."

"That was one movie, gawd you're daft."

"Daft?" Ryder frowned and shoved his books into his bag.

"Billy Idol is a punk icon. He seamlessly bridged the classic rock of the mid-80s to the New Waves of the 90s, and with my arrangement, I'm going to wipe the floor with all of you."

"It doesn't really matter, anyway. It's just a friendly competition."

"You didn't get the text? Shue upped the stakes. The winners get more than glory; they get—"

"A dinner at Breadstix?"

"No, a dinner at Rinky Dink's and an unlimited token-card to their arcade."

"Didn't Rinky Dink's close?"

"Apparently some up-and-coming Broadway star funded the place." Kitty sidled up to Ryder and winked seductively at him. "That's too bad; you'll never see what I can do with a pinball machine and a greasy token-card."

"Ohhh wow, that sounds—"

"Shhhh." Kitty held a finger to his lips. "You'll regret picking Puck Jr. over me."

"Is that a threat?" Ryder watched Kitty prance away, again confused and a little peeved by her words. He shrugged off the creeping feeling he had and made his way to the choir room.

* * *

The choir room was a cacophony of vocal runs and wild laughter. Will had yet to make it, so everyone was goofing off. Ryder leaned against the trophy cabinet and texted away on his phone, smiling every now and then. He was only aware of Jake staring at him when the boy cleared his throat.

"Sooo, are you ever go to tell me the mystery chick you've been texting for a week?"

"Dude!"

"What is this?" Jake wrestled the phone out of his hands. "She's pretty." He pushed his hand into Ryder's chest and held him at bay. "'Send me a photo of your abs'—really, Ryder?"

"Give it back! Stop being a douche." Ryder snatched the phone back and Jake folded his arms, disapproval evident on his face.

"Who is this?" He demanded.

"H-her name is Katie."

"How long have you and Katie been…?"

"A couple of weeks."

"Then why have I never seen her before?"

"Because… I've never actually been with her… at school."

"You've never met her?"

"At school."

"So she doesn't go to McKinley?"

"Uh…"

"Dude, did you meet Katie on an online chat?"

"It's way deeper than that. She gets me, and we just fit, like we were made for each other."

"You've never met her!"

"I meet her everyday when we make each other smile, even if it's just through an LED screen." Ryder shouldered past Jake. "I wouldn't expect you to understand." Ryder dropped into a seat on the opposite side of the room between Blaine and Brittany. He never sat with them, and two seconds after he cooled off, he realized how awkward he felt.

"That's why I want to do something like _Catch My Fall_," Blaine was saying to Tina, who sat in front of him.

"I don't want to do a slow ballad, I want to steal the show with a power-rock song."

"Guys, this may seem incredible," Brittany was saying, "but I think Mr. Shue might be a Lich." Blaine and Tina froze and stared at her. "He's harboring the spirits of dead artists and channeling their musical talents to preserve his immortal soul. He's like pre-Goblet Voldemort, except instead of drinking unicorn blood, he drinks arpeggios." Brittany pulled out a sketch of Will sipping music notes and ghosts through a rainbow straw. "My research is sound. We're all under the control of a cross-generational Lich lord."

"Soooooo…" Blaine said. He turned to Ryder. "Are you partnered with Jake?"

"Yes," Ryder said with a smile, then he remembered he was kind of harsh a minute ago.

"Then why are you sitting on opposite sides of the room, unless you're telepathically planning your performance as we speak?" Jake was sitting by himself, looking pathetic as he tapped his foot and stared absently at the floor.

"Uhhh…" Ryder shrugged. "You're right."

"Aw, don't kick him out," Tina said. "I barely talk to you new guys. Bring Jake over here."

"Hey Jake, come on over here!" Blaine called. Jake looked up, surprised. Ryder grinned at the expression on his face. His eyes sparkled like stones of obsidian, and his plump lips pulled apart to form a questioning "o". Ryder pulled his gaze away and sighed heavily, conjuring the images he'd invented of Katie. Sure, he only had one picture of her, but he had a great imagination. He was pulled out of his thoughts when he smelled the briny mix of Irish Spring soap and nutmeg, and Jake sat beside him.

"I'm sorry," they both said.

Ryder shook his head, "I shouldn't have snapped."

"No, I was wrong for judging you." Jake gave him a small smile, then he looked around expectantly as the door opened. He frowned when only Will walked in. "Where's Marley?"

"Worse, where's Kitty?" Ryder said with a humorless grunt.

"Alright, I don't know if everyone heard, so I'm making the official announcement. I decided to make this competition a little more interesting." Will licked his lips and shook his 'jazz hands'. "Winner of Billy Idol week gets a dinner at Rinky Dink's, and their unlimited arcade pass, which includes the skating rink"—the students nodded in approval—"the Go Kart track"—Jake fist-pumped excitedly—"and two free games of Laser Tag." Ryder clapped his hands.

"Now we're talking, Mr. Shue!" Artie said.

"So to start off, I want to hear everyone's pairs, and we can—" Will cut off as the door bust open.

"Mmm, meow," purred Kitty as she leaned against the doorframe. She was dressed in a formfitting, black leather cat suit, and on her head was a spiky, white wig.

"Kitty, what're you doing?" Will said, shocked.

Marley popped up in the doorway, dressed similarly. "Stealing the show, babycakes." Kitty's seductive snarl disappeared, and she looked at Marley with a sigh.

"Didn't I say not to say that?"

"I thought it would sound sexy."

"You don't do sexy! Stop trying!" Marley looked a little hurt, but Kitty marched into the room and snapped her fingers. "Hit it!"

Jake and Ryder shared a worried look, and the girls began to sing Billy Idol's _Rebel Yell_. They were feisty, commanding, and their harmonies were perfect. Will clapped excitedly from his chair as they performed, and he turned and mouthed 'Told ya!' to the seated students. Suddenly, the band dropped the bass, and Marley and Kitty dropped low to the floor, gyrating.

"A mashup?" Ryder said, incredulously. Suddenly, the door opened again, and Puck entered the room, dressed in a leather jacket and studded boots. As he started rapping, Ryder recognized the song: _Make Me Proud_.

"Puck?" Jake said with a shake of his head.

Marley and Kitty finished together, smiling as they sang, "In a million, billion, trillion miles awayyy," in a slow croon.

"Yes, boo!" Wade shouted. The New Directions applauded them, and Will stood, his hands in the air.

"Alright, alright, that was an unexpected, but well done mashup. And a very welcome surprise visit from Puck." Will threw an arm around Puck with a laugh and gestured to Marley and Kitty as they bowed. Jake hopped from his seat and marched up to Puck.

"What the hell? You didn't tell me you were coming."

Puck shrugged. "It was supposed to be a surprise. Kitty said it'd make you happy."

"You could've at least told me you were in town."

"Cool your tits, bro, and give me a hug." Puck's dopey grin conquered Jake's half-anger, and he relented. Puck patted his back and flashed a wink at Kitty, who flushed pink. Ryder was going to join the students flocking around Marley and Kitty when Blaine tapped his shoulder.

"You're welcome," Blaine said with a cheesy smile.

"For what…?" Ryder blinked.

"Oh, you're still in denial. You regret that stage the most."

Ryder was going to say something when he was pulled away. He found Jake looking at him worriedly. "Dude, I really want to win the big prize. I can't believe Kitty used Marley _and_ my brother."

"We'll come up with something amazing," Ryder said.

Jake squeezed his arm reassuringly. "Of course we will. You're my partner." He winked, and Will started leading the class in vocal warm-ups.

* * *

Jake threw his books into his locker and grabbed his iPod. He'd downloaded half of Billy Idol's albums last night for this assignment, and now he was glad he did. After seeing Marley and Kitty's performance, he had to up his game. _Rinky Dink's, here I come_.

"I heard the funniest thing from Riley today." Jake turned to see Kitty behind him,; she was staring at her reflection on the back of her phone and putting on bright lipstick.

"Riley?"

"Short, ginger-haired, wide-set—"

"Okay, and what was so funny?"

"Well, I heard that while you two were 'studying' Christmas break—which makes perfect sense, because Santa Clause totally tests kids on Christmas Eve—you called out someone's name."

"That's bull."

"That's a scandal."

"You've got nothing on me."

"Right, well, I'm sure your buddy would be interested in this story. In fact, I'm sure Marley would love to hear about the string of girls you burned through to feed your perverse sense of—"

"Kitty, shut up." Jake slammed his locker shut.

"I will, if you do me a favor." He refused to look at her. He couldn't believe she was trying to blackmail him! "Drop Ryder as your partner."

"Why? Are you doing all this for the dinner at Rinky Dink's?"

"No, I'm doing this to keep the game going."

"Why don't you leave Ryder out of this game? If you've got a problem with me then do something about it." Jake brushed up against her. "Say what you need to say. You've got something against me?"

"You don't want to play with me, " Kitty purred.

"What's going on?" Marley sidled up beside the two, her untainted smile faltering in confusion.

"Oh, me and Jake were just discussing the scores on last night's game." Kitty winked at Marley. "Another win for the Wildcats. May God bless your souls." She skipped away like a demented little girl.

"She wasn't messing with you, was she?" Marley brushed her fingers over Jake's eyebrows.

"Nah, she won't be a problem. Let's go."

* * *

**For this chapter, I blended slowly into Shooting Star with some changes, and wow, 3454 words is a lot for a chapter. I was so shocked by the hits on this guys; I did this completely on impulse, and here I am with another chapter. Well, I don't do anything half-ass, so expect good stuff. Thanks for the support, Jyder fans. 3 needs revising, but it will be here soon.**

—**Blackbyrd**

**P.S. The cerebellum is the "tongue" of the brain, which registers taste. Yup, that's a neurological metaphor right there.**


	3. Special

**-Special-**

Ryder gripped his locker door, more frustrated than ever. Yesterday, he'd done everything he said he wouldn't do. He'd been with Jake when he _should've_ been looking for Katie, went to Glee Club when he could've found the girl of his dreams, and ogled Jake every minute after school like an idiot. They'd sat on the patio after Glee Club, trying to come up with a great song, and while Ryder would usually be gung-ho focused on the task at hand, he couldn't keep his eyes off Jake. Was he aware of the way he smacked his lips before he spoke, or how he rubbed a thumb over the crook of his arm when he was in deep thought? And the way he looked at him, as if he was worth something, more than the idiot with a D-average, it made Ryder want to leap over the table and kiss him. But he didn't; that was one thing he said he wouldn't do, the one thing he didn't, and he couldn't imagine the consequences if he did.

Ryder slammed his locker door shut, his eyes glazed over as he gazed around at the students in the hall. He spotted a head of blond, pinned up in a tight ponytail, and he pursued the retreating form. He dashed into an empty classroom, only to hurry back out when he saw what was happening. He paused at the door and peeked inside.

"Just tell me what's wrong," Unique was saying, her hand rubbing circles into Kitty's back.

"It's not a big deal," Kitty said through a sob. "I just got emotional for no reason."

"It was something one of those girls said, right?" Unique flipped back the bangs of her wig. She was dressed in full Unique attire, leopard skin skirt and chandelier earrings.

"I mean, yeah, I convinced her boyfriend she had herpes to break them up because she stole my spot on the pyramid," Kitty said as she wiped her eyes, "but she didn't have to be such a bitch."

"Mmm hmm." Unique muttered, "White girl problems." She sighed and forced Kitty to sit up straight. "Look, boo, you are Kitty-Cat Wilde, Queen B, pride of the Cheerios, the next Quinn Fabray, so you'd best believe that silly low-income sleepover is nothing to cry over. Forget those girls."

"I know you're right, I just feel so humiliated. She said I have a permanent duck-face."

"You know what you need? Booty."

"Cheese and rice, Unique—"

"I mean some man-booty! What about that boy you were dancing with at Sadie Hawkins?"

"Puck? I thought you didn't like him."

"I said he looks like a grown-ass man, not that I don't like him. He's like Jake, but stretched out and on crack."

"But what about…" Kitty gestured with her hands. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do about him. I can't even say his name in that context." She sobbed again and wiped at her eyes. "This is so pathetic."

"I told you, be true to yourself, girl! Figure out what you want." The girls started walking out, and Ryder hurried away from the doorway and hid behind someone's locker. He smiled awkwardly at the guy, who was eyeing him suspiciously.

"I'm avoiding someone."

"Lose the Bieber cut. They'll never find you." The guy slammed his locker shut and walked away, leaving Ryder confused. He peered around the corner, but there was no sight of Kitty and Unique.

_I can't believe I didn't recognize her Cheerios uniform_, Ryder thought with a groan. Day 2, and he's seen no sign of Katie.

"Ryder, hey." Jake bumped his shoulder. "I need to talk to you."

"Oh, Jake, I was thinking about—" His phone went off, and he dug it out of his pocket. His heart stilled when he read the name, and he opened the text excitedly: _**Sorry I've been MIA. Life**_.

"Wow, is that Katie?" Jake asked, an edge to his voice. Ryder glared at him and he threw his hands up in surrender. "I won't judge."

"Thanks," Ryder muttered as he replied to the text: _**I've bin busy acctuilly. Me and Jake have a speical performance in Glee**_. "What were you going to say?"

"Oh, um, about our performance…"

"Yeah? I actually downloaded Paramore's new album after we practiced. It's really good." Ryder frowned down at his phone as he got another text.

"Bro, can you _not_ text while we talk? It's important."

"I'm sorry." Ryder slowly tucked the phone away, his eyebrows twitching.

Jake sighed. "Okay, at least reply to that one."

"Thanks," Ryder said with a sigh of relief.

"We're friends, right?" Jake asked as Ryder opened the message.

"Of course."

"Then tell me about this Katie. You can be honest with me." Jake tried to smile, but Ryder was frowning at his phone, looking a little confused. Jake peered over his shoulder: _**Be careful around that Jake. I saw some girl named Riley tweet weird things about him**_.

"What?" Jake said.

"Um, I don't know what she—um, wow, of all the times—"

"Hold on, how does she know me?"

"Well, I talk about you sometimes, but she goes to McKinley… I think."

"You talk about me?" Jake glared at Ryder.

Ryder shrugged nervously. "We're friends, right?"

"So she saw some crap on Twitter, what's that even supposed to mean? What kind of weird things?"

"Jake, chill, it's probably just a mixup." When Jake turned away, Ryder grabbed his shoulder, his heart beating fast. "Please, I'll try to investigate. Who is Riley, anyway? You don't know anyone with that name, right?"

"No… I don't know. I might." He avoided his eyes.

"Look, we're not just friends," Ryder blurted out. He sucked in air through his teeth and said slowly, "I mean, you're seriously the best friend I have right now. How am I not supposed to talk about you when you're so—" Jake was staring wide-eyed at him, his face frozen in anticipation "—so special to me."

"Wow, Ryder."

"I mean, Glee takes up a good percentage of your life, right? Try not talking about it while having a conversation with someone."

"I see…" He was giving him a really weird, searching look, and Ryder felt like he was grasping at hot sand.

"What if one day, I get with Katie, and then… and then we get married!"

"Whoa, that's a little hasty—"

"What I'm saying is, you're the best man in my life." Ryder swore and face-palmed, his ears burning rose-red. "Gosh, I screw up everything."

"I honestly don't know what to say." He was still giving Ryder that austere gaze.

"You asked me to be honest with you, so… look, Katie is really a cool person. You'd like her if you met her. Check it out." Ryder bit his lip as he swam through his messages. "I saved some of our favorite conversations." He showed Jake his phone.

"Hmm…" Jake's eyes scanned over the screen, and he read aloud, "Be true to yourself…" He frowned and looked to the side. "Riley…"

"So you do know a Riley?"

"Riley… be true to yourself…" Jake's face slowly fell into realization, then he looked up at Ryder horrified.

"What's wrong? Was Riley a one-nighter or something?"

"Um…" He looked over Ryder's shoulder, where Kitty was standing by her locker at the end of the hall. He shook, startled, when Ryder's phone went off again. "I'll be back."

Jake backed away from Ryder slowly, and he looked down the hall again, where Kitty was grinning at her phone. He clasped Ryder's shoulder and hurried down the hall, leaving Ryder confused. Ryder watched Kitty look up with false-innocence at Jake, and the two started arguing. Ryder looked up and down from his phone, then decided Katie could wait. Jake needed him.

"I've got your balls on a platter, Half-and-half," Kitty sneered. "Try me, and I will serve you up with an iced mocha."

"I swear, if you hurt him—"

"What's going on! Whoa, whoa!" Ryder stood between them. The rage on Jake's face scared Ryder more than anything. It was almost primal. "Cool it, you two, talk it out."

"We can't talk this out," Jake said. "Ryder, she's—"

"Oh, Ryder!" Kitty called out in a deep moan. People in the hall stared at her. "Oh yeah, Ryder, I mean Riley!"

"Shut. Up." Jake said through clenched teeth.

"Kitty, what's your problem?" Ryder looked between the two, and his stomach started churning. He felt exposed, naked, and a little excluded all at once.

"Ryder, sweetie, go play outside while mommy and daddy have a talk," Kitty said. She wagged her finger at Jake, gesturing for him to follow. Ryder shot a searching look at Jake, but Jake's eyes were glued, burning, on Kitty. He followed her down the hall, and they ducked into the choir room. Ryder stared after them, and he pulled at his hair to keep from screaming in frustration. His phone went off again, and he checked the message.

_**Me in a fantasy, you in a memory**_. _What?_ Ryder typed back: _**That sounds familyur. Is it from a poem?**_ He got no response. The bell rang, and he dragged himself to class. A part of him had wanted to burst into the choir room and demand to know what was going on, but as he took his seat in Geometry, he resigned to leave it be.

_He was so angry. I've never seen him so angry_. Ryder barely paid attention to the students entering the classroom, or Ms. Bletheim wiping the board. Even when they'd fought, Jake didn't look that mad. He pulled out his phone, remembering to put it on vibrate after it went off in class last week. Just his luck, it went off right after he changed it. He opened the message under the desk.

_**Hey Ryder.**_ It was from Jake. That's weird; Jake rarely texted him.

_**What happened with you and Kitty? I thought you were going to mawl her**_ _**in the hallway.**_

_**We had a disagreement about something**_.

_**Well tell me about it. We're supposed to be honest, right?**_ Ryder tapped impatiently, feeling a knot in his stomach. This couldn't be good.

_**Something came up. I can't be your partner anymore**_. Ryder gasped, his heart beating in his ears. He finally pulled away from the message when the lights in the room went out, and his phone illuminated his face.

"Mr. Lynn, your phone," said Ms. Bletheim as she held out her hand. Ryder gaped at her, but she jerked her hand impatiently. "Your phone."

"I-I'll put it away."

"Give it now, or that'll be a detention."

"But…" Ryder grimaced and locked the phone, then he handed it to the teacher. She walked behind her desk and stashed it in her drawer in one smooth, angry motion.

"You can get it back at the end of the day. It's Geometry time, not Glee time, or whatever you were doing. Focus."

"Yes, Ms. Bletheim," Ryder said quietly. He sunk low in his seat as the students snickered, but their laughter barely touched him. As Ms. Bletheim turned on the overhead and started the lesson, Ryder completely withdrew from reality. He felt icy cold all over, and he replayed everything he'd said to Jake that morning.

"_You're so special to me_." Why oh why did he say that? Jake must have caught on. He knows how he feels—hell, even he isn't sure how he feels—and he'll never talk to him again. Was that what gave him away?

"_You're the best man in my life_." That must have sealed the deal. Thinking back, he sounded like a whiny, obsessive freak. It's no wonder he scared Jake away. Heat built up behind his eyes, and he was surprised to find them wet when he wiped them. He refused to cry. There was no way he was going to do that right here, in class. Don't cry, don't cry.

"_I swear if you hurt him!"_ Ryder held his breath as he registered the words. It had something to do with Kitty. Jake cared about him, right? Would he really walk away because of something like this? Yes. Yes he would. Ryder sighed and gripped his pen hard enough to snap it in two. Jake went through girls like they were pit stops between the laps of his formula race, and Marley had been his finish line, the only time he'd slowed down. For all Ryder knew, Jake was repulsed by him.

_Kitty must have told him_. It made sense. That's why they were arguing, and her earlier words made sense, too. She said he'd regret picking Jake over her.

"Pay attention, Mr. Lynn!" Ms. Bletheim snapped. Ryder blinked and shifted in his seat. "There is a quiz on this tomorrow."

"Yes, Ms. Bletheim." He discarded his mangled pen for a better one, then copied down the images on the overhead. One of them seemed to match his life at the moment: the hyperbola. He felt like a satellite, knocked out of orbit and forming a hyperbola around the earth, a crooked, chaotic path that he could never escape from. The message played over and over in his head, and he wished he could run to Jake right then and there.

_I wish I was special to you_.

* * *

**Wow, the more I research on dyslexia, the more I just want to hug Ryder and Sam. If any of you have friends with dyslexia, reach out to them and try to understand that, as difficult as their condition is, they are brilliant, truly brilliant. Unfortunately, the current education system has no room for brilliance in this era; only robots slide through the system, and barely at that. If you're reading this, and you have dyslexia, remember that a 95 on your Physics exam can't feed you or pay your bills; the only fulfillment it can give you is psychological. What's important to everyone else doesn't have to be important to you.**

**—Blackbyrd**


	4. Alone

**-Alone-**

A week passed. Seven miserable days, in which Ryder did not perform—despite offers from Kitty to be backup—and he did not even attend Glee Club. He avoided the New Directions in the halls, and he spent lunch in the library. He'd seen Joe a few times studying a bible at a table, but he hadn't pushed him or asked too many questions, which was a relief. He just couldn't face Jake, he was a little scared of Kitty and what she knew, looking at Marley gave him chest pains, and seeing Will in the hall reminded him that he'd skipped out, which made him a quitter.

_Times like this, I wish Finn were still around_, Ryder thought as he entered the library. He saw Joe reading in the corner, his face engrossed with psalms and songs of long-dead prophets. He looked up for a second and waved at Ryder with a knowing smile, who returned it. A world full of Joes would be a peaceful place, like a giant hippy-library. Ryder grabbed his favorite computer as far from the glass doors as possible, then he signed onto iMessage. As he'd hoped, Katie was online.

_**Hey**_. Ryder drummed his fingers over the keyboard, the stress wearing him down.

_**Ryder! We haven't talked in days**_.

_**I know. Things have been going on**_.

_**What happened with your Billy Idol performance? Did you win?**_

_**I didn't even compeete**_. Ryder wiped at his face in frustration.

_**Why not? Weren't you partners with Jake? I thought you'd guys do fine.**_

_**Something came up**_. Ryder grinned sourly at the repeated phrase, the one that tore apart his heart. _**Remember when I asked you if we could meet, and you stopped talking to me for a week?**_

_**I'm really sorry about that. I was scared.**_

_**I understand that, but right now, I have no one. I've avoided everyone from Glee Club. I don't talk to Jake. Finn is out of town, and my dad is as busy as ever.**_

_**Why don't you talk to your club director. Mr. Shuester?**_

_**I don't want to see the look of disappointment on his face. One thing we all do in Glee is partissipate. I couldn't even do that.**_

_**You're so hard on yourself. So you took a break for a week. Who hasn't done that in Glee?**_

_**You're right**_. Ryder looked around the room, getting a creeping feeling. Something wasn't right. _**You are really the perfekt girl**_.

_**And you're the perfect boy**_. _**Gtg**_. Ryder smiled a little, then he signed out. One thing about the library was that it was so quiet, he could practice his reading techniques uninterrupted. One thing about the library was that it was so quiet, he couldn't cry without being heard.

* * *

"You said she didn't even care," Jake protested. Marley rolled her eyes.

"That's not the point. They won, fair and square."

"Yes, but there's stuff going on."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, stuff."

Marley frowned and made air quotes as she said, "Does this 'stuff' have to do with some argument you had with Kitty last week. I heard you were going to eat her."

"It has a lot to do with Kitty," Jake said. "And I would like to do something nice, something different, but I was robbed of that. Please, you know how to get Wade to do this."

"I feel like I'm stepping into dangerous territory, Jake. Why can't you tell me what's going on?"

"Because they're not my secrets to tell. Not all of them."

"Fine. Fine! I'll do it." She threw up her hands in defeat and walked away. She looked back and said, "You so owe me!"

"I know." Jake smiled, and as he looked down the hall, he spotted Ryder staring at him from his locker. The boy looked so hurt, like he was trying to hold it all in, that Jake almost ran to him. Instead, he did a light jog. Ryder slammed his locker door closed and walked away even as Jake reached him.

"Hey, you haven't talked to me in a week," Jake said as he caught up.

"I've been busy," Ryder muttered.

"With what? Why haven't I seen you in Glee?"

Ryder almost laughed dryly when the words came out, "Something came up." It took a second for Jake to realize what he was talking about when Ryder was suddenly out-striding him, leaving him behind.

"Dude, I really want to talk to you," Jake said as he jogged up to him again. "I messed up big time, and nobody else would understand."

"Oh look, it's Blaine!" Ryder said with over-enthusiasm. He hurried to Blaine, who was walking up the hall in his Cheerios uniform and not looking too happy about it.

"Heyyy…" Blaine said casually as he caught sight of the two boys half-running toward him.

"Blaine, we were going to that event today, right?" Ryder said quickly, his eyelids blinking rapidly in Morse code.

"That event…" Blaine cocked his head to one side.

"Um, you know, because you were showing me how to…" Ryder gestured with his hands.

"Right, right, you wanted to know the secret to my amazing wardrobe." Blaine grinned, and Jake looked at him with his mouth hanging open.

"Really, guys? Really?" He looked back and forth between the two.

"We'd better get to that," Ryder said. As he walked away with Blaine, Jake stood fuming in the hall.

"I'm doing everything I can!" He shouted at their retreating backs. He flung off his backpack and kicked it into a wall. "Dammit!"

Ryder thanked Blaine the moment they turned the corner. "Sorry for dragging you into this."

"I know a situation when I see it," Blaine said as he shoved his hands in his pocket. "I'm a little lost; last week, I could've sworn you were crushing like crazy on that guy, then you disappear from Glee, and now this." Blaine stopped and glanced at Ryder, whose face was frozen in a sort of terror. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You have to talk to somebody about this, and I'm here." Blaine checked his phone and swore. "I'm here for now. Cheerios practice in a bit. So talk to me."

Ryder's lips parted, but no words came out, so he closed his mouth. He repeated this several times like a fish out of water.

"Tell me how you feel about Jake," Blaine said quietly. "Start small."

"I don't know how I feel about him."

"Think about what you're going through right now, how the _situation_ makes you feel."

"Angry? Hurt?" Ryder shook his head. "I'm angry at him, and a little scared of him."

"Scared?"

"Because of… how he makes me feel."

"Which is…?" Blaine sighed. "Come on, you can do this."

"He makes me feel—" Ryder bit back the words. Why was this so hard? "He makes me feel special, like I'm wanted. He was the first person to see me as more than just an idiot."

"I don't think you're an idiot," Blaine said. "You know we don't judge in Glee. We don't really have room to judge, and Brittany is pretty much our low-quota for intelligence."

"It's more than that." Ryder looked around carefully before whispering, "I have a condition."

"Physical… condition?"

"No. Jake was the one who figured it out. Why is this so hard?"

"When you lie to yourself for so long, the truth hurts." Blaine checked his phone again. "Hey, I have to run or Coach Sue will kill me."

"I thought you didn't like being a Cheerio."

"I've recently taken an interest in my cholesterol." Blaine patted Ryder on the shoulder. "You need to figure out what you want. Even if it's hard to admit you have… romantic… feelings for him, you need to ask yourself if you want to act on these feelings, what the consequences would be if you did, and if it's worth it. I learned the hard way that chasing after a desire can be severely damaging to your life."

"Thanks. I mean it."

"Any time." Blaine walked away, leaving Ryder with a nearly empty hallway and nowhere to go. He could just go home, but the thought of sitting in his room and listening to Radiohead until he fell asleep for the eighth night in a row was too pathetic. He leaned against the lockers, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders pressing down until he slid down to the floor. He pulled out his phone and pulled up Katie. If he ever needed her more, it was now.

_**Hey, are you there?**_ He stared into the brightness of the screen, letting the digital lights burn colors into his corneas. No reply. Ryder blinked heavily, his eyes hot from the imprint of the screen and the words "Hey, are you there?" flared aspirin-white against his vision wherever he looked. He noticed someone staring at him, and he saw Jake leaning against the corner of the wall a few yards away. His stare was as lonely as Ryder felt, but twice as intense. Ryder's lips slowly parted as he tried to conjure up anything to say; how could he be knocked speechless by someone he usually talked so effortlessly with?

Jake slowly turned his head, his gaze still on Ryder, as he listened to something. Marley appeared, and she watched Ryder inquisitively, flashing him a quick wave. Jake finally broke their connection as he whispered something to Marley. He cupped her cheek with one hand and kissed her hard on the mouth, long and passionate. Marley blinked and gasped as she pulled away, and Jake slid a glance at Ryder, who was completely oblivious of the shocked expression on his face. Then he was gone. Marley pursed her lips together in a nervous smile and walked over to Ryder. He wouldn't look up at her, so she crouched on her heels and tapped his knee.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey." He felt her take his hand in hers; it was like silk, battery-warm.

"Ryder, I'm not going to ask any questions."

"Thank you for that."

"I have something to give you." Now he looked up at her, his eyes wide. She sighed and checked her phone. "Well, I will have something to give you if she stops playing around and—"

"I'm here, damn!" Unique half-tripped, half-powerwalked down the hall toward the, like a Walmart-shopper on a mission. "Please, hold your applause."

"Wa—Unique, what're you doing?" Ryder looked from her to Marley, confused.

"Today is your lucky day, Cinderfella," Unique said as she rummaged through her purse. "I have heard your wish, and as your fairy blackmama, I am here to grant it." She handed him two thick strips of paper that he barely registered were tickets.

"Are these…?"

"Two tickets to Rinky Dink's, baby!" Unique said with a clap. "You just go up to the front counter, redeeeeeeem your tickets, get your roller skates, get your token-card, claim your dinner, do what you do. These don't expire until July."

"So you won the competition?" Ryder asked.

"Don't sound so surprised. I am a _true_ diva."

"She and Joe were amazing," Marley said.

"Wait, Joe?!" He thought back to Joe's knowing smile that morning, and now it seemed more than polite acknowledgement; it was a sign. "Why are you giving me your tickets?"

"Do I look like I can roller skate?" Unique said. "I don't play video games either, and neither does Joe, and when I told him about you, he said this was a much better prize than shoving pizza down his throat."

"I can't accept this."

"Yes, you can," Marley said. "It's just a fun time at the roller rink and the arcade. I think you should go and wind-down. You've been out of it lately."

"I didn't even compete. I feel like I don't deserve this."

"Thank you for calling Fairy Blackmama Incorporated," Unique said, holding her fingers to her ears like a telephone. "We are sorry to inform you that all wishes are nonrefundable. A wish granted is a wish kept. Come on, Marley. I need to do your eyebrows; they are screaming for my help."

"They are not that bad!" Marley shrieked as she covered her forehead. And for the first time in a week, Ryder smiled. Seeing his smile, Marley's shoulders rose a little in relief, and Unique muttered "white people problems". Marley kissed the back of his hand and gave him a sad, knowing smile, then she rose to her feet and let Unique take her arm.

"Don't forget to have fun," Marley said as they walked away.

"Thank you," Ryder said. He felt fifteen pounds lighter, and he felt the need to tell someone. He rose from the floor and went through his contact list as he neared the school's front doors. He settled on the one person who he could be open with—at least when it came to Jake.

_**Blaine, you won't belive what happened to me**_. Ryder burst out onto the front steps of the school; the sun was almost bright again. He finally got a reply as he walked across the schoolyard.

_**I have about five minutes before Sue has me doing pivots. What's up?**_

_**I don't know why, but Unique and Joe gave me their tickets to Rinky Dink's.**_

_**Seriously? That's awesome. They gave you both of their tickets?**_

_**Yeah.**_

_**So you have two tickets.**_

_**Yeah…**_

_**Who's going with you?**_ Ryder stared at the text, dumbfounded. That hadn't occurred to him in the euphoria of the moment.

_**I don't know.**_

_**Yes you do. Have to pivot now. I hope you make the right choice.**_

Ryder shoved his phone into his pocket with a curse. It was so simple yet so complicated; he knew he wanted to ask Jake, but the simple thing to do was _not_ ask Jake. Hell, he could invite Artie or Sugar and have a good time. But he knew he wanted Jake, and even if it was "just as bros", it would never feel that way, at least not for him.

* * *

**Not only do ants sleep, but their queens even dream.**

— **Blackbyrd**


	5. Duality

**-Duality-**

"We had a deal," Jake spat as he and Kitty walked through the line in the cafeteria.

"I haven't said anything," said Kitty without her usual venom. She seemed deflated.

"Then Celeste and Hannah giving me weird looks this morning?"

"You sure they just weren't intently staring at your horrible wax job?" Kitty tossed vegetables onto her plate. "I'm begging you to give up manscaping."

"I don't manscape—"

"Let's stay professional and be honest with each other." Kitty turned and faced him. "I keep your secret, you keep mine. That includes whispering little hints and riddles, or I might just slip up and say something awfully damaging to your reputation during my 11:30 lipstick session in the girls bathroom." She paid for her food and pranced off, leaving Jake fuming.

"Hello, Jake," said Marley's mother behind the counter.

"Hey, Ms. Rose," Jake said. His usual charming smile was meager.

"You look down. Here, take an extra brownie." She slipped him the wrapped brownie, and he thanked her with a real smile. "Tell Marley the Buick is down, so we're taking the bus today."

"I will. Thanks, Ms. Rose."

"No problem, sweetie."

Jake balanced his tray with one hand and looked out at the sea of sickening adolescence. He couldn't sit here; Marley was making up a quiz and wouldn't be coming, and for some reason, Sam's shameless guffawing at the glee kids' table made him ache. It was too uplifting and seductively happy for him to even pretend to partake.

The space behind the ramp outside the cafeteria was a popular spot for the school's chain-smokers and the remnants of the self-titled "Skanks", but a lot of them had retreated to their illegal habits under the bleachers once Figgins had struck down with staff patrols around the cafeteria. This made it a prime spot for Jake, whose only transgression was that he was, at the moment, the worst human being on Earth. Well, maybe the third, right after Kim Jong-Un and Kitty Wilde.

Jake had almost skipped Glee for the week, like Ryder. He'd walked in that first Tuesday, sat in his usual seat with Marley, then waited, in vain, for Ryder to appear. He'd been apprehensive at first, unsure of what he'd say to Ryder, or what Ryder would say to him. But when he didn't even show up, Jake feared the worst.

Wednesday was the same, and the ache in his chest became more noticeable. Glee was fun, but that empty chair in front of Brittany seemed occupied by a phantom, which peered at Jake with its accusing, ghostly eyes. He tightened his arm around Marley, and he ignored it.

Thursday got worse. Unique and Joe performed—they talk to each other; what's that about?—and it was a brilliant rendition of Radioactive, familiar enough to remember it belonged to Imagine Dragons, but distant enough that it was a song of their own. Jake thought about how his performance with Ryder would have blown them away, how they had worked on changing the key, that sheepish giggle Ryder made when he misread the lyrics, a part of it sad but somehow adorable. His kisses with Marley grew deeper; less passion, more skin.

Friday, a warm front hit Lima; the county didn't react fast enough, and the school's AC didn't even put up a fight. They'd held rehearsals in the more spacious auditorium, and Will fanned himself with his music sheets as he announced the winners: Unique and Joe. The pang of regret in his chest receded a little when he realized Kitty hadn't got what she wanted either. That smug feeling was just as fleeting; what had she really wanted to begin with? When Marley pushed away his kisses and probed him for answers, feeling his forehead, he claimed it was the season of love, that he needed her. She wasn't so convinced.

The weekend was lonely; his mother was working all-nighters, and his phone was eerily silent. The phantom had followed him home, biting at his heels and whispering wicked words of vengeance in his ears.

Monday couldn't come fast enough, when he'd practically slept through most of his classes—rough night—and almost ran to Glee. That empty seat burned with the touch of ice and loneliness.

Tuesday left him with nothing to distract him. The empty chair sung out his name, begging him to know why he'd done it; Marley wasn't there to hold him and push him through it because she was out sick, and Kitty's leer at him made it worse. Where was Ryder? He didn't see him in the halls; he skipped class just to wait outside all of Ryder's classrooms, hoping to catch him as he went out. Then he'd find out from the teachers that Ryder had left class early to see the nurse, completely dodging him. Finding him in the hall afterschool had been a stroke of luck; convincing Marley to convince Unique and Joe to give up their tickets was nigh-miraculous.

Jake took a bear-trap bite out of his brownie, angry at how gooey and rich it tasted; everything should taste as bitter as he felt right then, a lunch menu of lemons and sour cream. He wiped crumbs off his mouth and stalked off through the exit door and down the halls. He spotted Ryder walking slowly by the trophy case. He was texting. Jake stealthily shadowed him, hiding by the side of the cabinet as he peered over Ryder's shoulder. He squinted at the tiny letters, and he thought he read the name "Katie". He almost swore in frustration, and he turned on one heel and marched down the hall. He found Kitty by her locker, as he expected, with her phone in her hands—her other phone.

"Our deal?" Jake said. "We _just_ talked about this like twenty minutes ago!"

"I know, but—"

"I told you if you hurt him, I'd…" Jake lowered his voice. "I will do everything in my power to destroy you. I don't care if it's getting you expelled, having you arrested, whatever. Leave him alone!"

"I can't just stop talking to him," Kitty said.

"Yes, you can. That was the deal. You stop being Katie, I keep my mouth shut."

"He keeps talking to me," she protested. "Look, if I stop talking to him, that would hurt him even more."

"Let me deal with that."

"Oh, and how will you deal with this?" She pulled up a message. "I have no one. I'm so alone. I feel like I'm trapped in a bottle. The people I care about have become strangers. Now I have only…" Kitty looked up at Jake. "You." She raised her eyebrows in mock pain. "Funny, but it seems like you're doing more damage than I am."

Jake avoided her eyes. "This is your fault; you made me do this."

"All I asked was for you to back out of the competition."

"You knew what you were doing. What's your problem?" Jake slammed his hand into the locker behind her, trapping her. "Why are you so _obsessed_?"

"I'm not obsessed, I just have…" She rolled her eyes, "white girl problems."

"What's that got to do with Ryder?"

"I picked him first. Then you and Marley showed up. Someone always shows up." Kitty's voice caught, and she said, "I'm always showed up." She shoved his arm away and walked away, her biotch-walk less prominent than usual. Jake ran up to her and held out his hand. She eyed it suspiciously. "You want to play pattycake, or what?"

"I'll hold onto the phone."

"You'll what?" She laughed incredulously. "Oh Jake, all bravado, no brains."

"I can handle this. Just let me hold onto the phone until I figure something out."

"And I suppose Unique and Joe giving up their tickets had nothing to do with you?" She turned and faced him. "You think I'm stupid?"

"And Celeste and Hannah giving me looks has nothing to do with you? You think I'm that stupid?" He swore. "Don't answer that."

"You didn't answer my question."

"No, that's got nothing to do with me."

"Admit it then; what Riley said was true." Kitty looked him up and down. "I mean, I can see how you could get the names confused. They both start with Rye, but one ends with penis."

"Phone." He glared at her, and she flashed a fake smile before handing him the phone. It was bright pink and dotted with "Hello Kitty" stickers; the irony did not fall on him.

"Tell me how you resist replying to his pathetic texts," Kitty said.

"Easy; turn the damn phone off!" He shouted at her retreating form. He went to turn off the phone before he got a text. His fingered hovered over "OPEN" for a full minute, until he finally pressed it. The guilt was overwhelming, but the message was worse: _**Have you ever been in luv with your best friend?**_

* * *

**Love is a transcendent thing; smut is carnal. I decided to go with the former, so that I may achieve immortality.**

**—Blackbyrd**


	6. Lungs

**-Lungs-**

Ryder was smiling when he walked into the auditorium, and Jake gazed at him as he took his seat on the stage. He looked less jittery than he had before, less gloomy.

Just a few hours ago, when he'd texted him: _**Have you ever been in luv with your best friend?**_ Jake thought his heart was going to stop. He'd told him the truth: _**Yes**_. The text felt like a lie in its truth; the moment it had been sent, Jake had become Katie. Jake had become a demon.

"I have, in my hands, our competition for Regionals," said Will with a proud smile. "Drum roll, please." The students stomped their feet and clapped their hands excitedly, and Will announced, "From North Central High School in Indianapolis, the Hoosierdaddies! And from Our Lady of Perpetual Loneliness in Battle Creek Michigan, the Nun-Touchables!"

"We got this!" Sam shouted.

"Mr. Shue, please stop talking, I have an announcement," said Brittany as she stepped in front of him. "I regret to inform you, a deadly asteroid is headed our way." Will shook his head incredulously, and Jake covered his face.

_Not this again_, he thought.

"Wait, didn't we just go through this at Christmas?" Blaine said.

"Yeah," said Tina, "and is it true that you and Sam got married? Did that happen?"

"Shut up, Tina," Brittany said casually. "I'm naming this comet Tubbington-Bomb, and it is headed straight for Lima."

"Wait," said Artie, "is it an asteroid, or a comet?"

"It's both."

"Wouldn't NASA know about this?" Marley asked.

"We can't trust NASA. I mean, last month a meteor exactly like Tubbington-Bomb hit Russia and we had no warning at all."

"Oh, so now it's a meteor," said Artie.

"That's right, Artie, and when this meteor hits, I will not be spending my time in this room preparing for Regionals. I will be spending my last hours making amends with somebody who I need to get right with. Somebody who I love very much." Her eyes crossed the room before focusing on Sam. "Lord Tubbington." Sam frowned. "So back to your homes, and hide your wife, hide your kids, and… hide your wife. McKinley High, I salute you." She saluted and walked away, leaving the New Directions directionless.

* * *

"Last Chances." That was their assignment for the week, and something about it rang true for Jake. He thought about closing the gap, telling Ryder the truth regardless of what Kitty threatened to reveal, and the thought made him feel nauseous and giddy. But then, he could at least talk to Ryder, connect with him; if he ever decided to tell him the truth, he didn't want Ryder to run away. He knew there was something there, and as he walked down the hall, his eyes searching for Ryder, he knew he wanted to see it himself.

Jake passed a frowning Sam in the hall, waving at him as he did, and made a bee-line for Ryder.

"Hey!" They both said; Ryder happily, Jake nervously.

"You look happy," Jake said.

"I have to tell you something," he said. Jake perked up.

"I'm listening."

"Remember that girl I've been texting?"

_Oh god, no_. "Katie, yeah."

"Well, I know for a fact she's a student here."

"Really?" Jake nodded as if he was curious, but his heart was beating so fast, a Congo drum in his ear.

"Yeah. I wasn't sure before, but last week, I saw a girl that looked like her in the hall. It was brief, and I thought maybe I imagined it, especially when I couldn't find her _anywhere_." Ryder's eyes were animated, and Jake felt the guilt grow stronger. "Until I spotted her at locker 1439 this morning."

"Whoa, slow down, dude. Are you sure that's her?"

"It definitely is. I can go talk to her."

"Are you sure you should?"

Ryder narrowed his eyes. "Why shouldn't I? We've been talking all this time."

"Yeah, but if she's been throwing off meeting you before, maybe you should do this on her terms. Wait until she's ready to meet you."

"If I wait for her, it may never happen." Ryder reached into his backpack and pulled out two slips of paper. "Did Marley tell you what Unique and Joe did for me?"

"They gave you their tickets, yeah."

"That was beyond cool of them. Well, I have two…"

"You do have two tickets." Jake held his breath, his stomach growing warm. A smile stretched across his face in anticipation, and he wet his lips. "What are you going to do with them?"

"Well, I hope this doesn't sound weird." Ryder frowned and looked at the ground.

"I'm open for anything. I promise."

"I thought that maybe, if I invited Katie, we'd have time to get to know each other in person. I mean, even through our texts, there are just certain things…" The rest of his words blurred out of existence as Jake spun into his own reality, and he felt all of the air cascade out of his lungs, the rejection—no, the oblivion, knocking him in his diaphragm without mercy. That phantom returned, mocking his naiveté.

"Jake. Jake!" Ryder shook his shoulder, and Jake blinked back to life.

"What?"

"I'm about to go find her."

"Wait, I don't think—"

"This week's theme is Last Chances, Jake." Ryder inhaled real deep. "I know an asteroid isn't about to collide into the planet, but I still want to take this chance. You understand, right?"

"I understand." Jake bit his lip and nodded, then said, "Ryder, just know that I really care about you." Ryder's eyes widened, but Jake did not falter. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, even if my attempts not to have… failed."

"Does this have anything to do with that stuff I said last week?"

"Yes, no. A little." Jake sighed. "I have a lot to tell you, but I'm going to let you do what you need to do. I don't want to be the one pulling wool over your eyes." Jake abruptly turned and walked away, already regretting everything he'd said.

* * *

Ryder almost turned around, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't abandon his chance to find Katie; what if she magically disappeared, plucked from the earth by a ghostly hand in the sky, returned to her realm of angels where she belonged like a prodigal daughter.

He saw her at the end of the hall, a waterfall of golden hair spilling down her back. She laughed at a friend beside her, exposing her profile. It was definitely her. As Ryder approached her, she recognized him and her eyes lit up.

"H-Hey," he said with a nervous smile, trying to go for charming. "How ya doing?"

She looked around, surprised, before pointing at herself and saying, "Me?"

"Yeah, you. I've been dying to talk to you."

"Seriously?" She was grinning from ear to ear, her eyes sparkling.

"Yeah, I saw you walking by my class last. I almost ran out of a test to come meet you."

She was nervously laughing. "I'm kind of freaking out right now."

"That's cool. So am I."

"Sorry, um, I should really do this properly." He held out his hand and winked. "I'm Ryder Lynn."

"Yeah, I-I know who you are," she said, almost beset with giggles.

"Would you mind coming with me?" She took his hand gently, tingling when his thumb caressed her skin. Then he led away to the choir room.

* * *

Jake held Marley's hand tightly as they walked through the hall. He could see thoughts racing through her mind by the twitch of her eyebrows.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I need you to be honest with me." She glanced at him out of the corners of her eyes, and Jake felt imminent dread. "Can you tell me what's going on with you and Kitty, and what it has to do with Ryder?"

"I told you, they're not my secrets to—"

"I know, but it's kind of bothering me. You've been differently lately, possessive, even, and it's freaking me out. I just want answers. I want things to be plain and simple."

"Wait, possessive?"

"The extra kisses, the constant touch."

"You're my girlfriend, what's wrong with that?"

"I feel like you're compensating." Marley shook her head. "That's not the right word. It's like you're hiding something."

"Can we talk about this another time?" Jake implored with his eyes, and Marley nodded. Little did he know, "later" was a matter of seconds.

"Hey! HEY!" Ryder burst through the crowd of students until he reached them. "Which one of you was it? Huh, which one of you screwed me over?!"

"Whoa, dude, calm down," Jake said.

"What's going on?"

"Katie isn't real! Stringing me along online, pretending to be someone else, getting me to send you… pictures." He squeezed his eyes shut to taste the bitter word then opened them, glaring at Marley. "Because you still like me, and this is your warped way of showing it, well that's real messed up, Marley!"

"Ryder, I swear to you, it's not me," she said, her eyes already wet with tears.

Ryder's gaze flashed to Jake. "Then it was you."

"Dude, I wouldn't do something like this—"

"Look, I get it, alright." His eyes were hot with tears, and Jake felt responsible for every drop. "I get that you didn't like me back. I get it that I crossed the line." He glared at Jake, his lip quivering. "I get it I said some weird stuff to you. But you didn't have to humiliate me. You didn't have to make me feel so pathetic." He spat out the words, all of his hurt scrawled across his face. "I thought you were my friends."

"We wouldn't do that to you," Marley said.

"Then who was it, huh? It had to be somebody who knows me, who knew how to get me to trust them." His face crumbled as the tears poured out without control.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Marley asked, reaching for his hand.

He jerked back. "I don't want anything from anyone. Especially from either of you." He hurried away, one arm covering his face, and Marley fell against the lockers with a frustrated sigh. Jake watched Ryder go, his muscles and bones encased in ice.

"Jake, what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything. I tried to stop this."

"You _knew_! The hell, Jake!"

"Look, Kitty was doing this for I don't know how long. She…" Jake looked up and down the hall, searching for Cheerios uniforms. "She has to pay for this."

"Kitty did this? Hold on, start at the beginning."

"I told her if she hurt him, I'd kill her." He stormed down the hall, Marley trailing behind him.

"Jake, what is going on? At least tell me!" He ignored her as he rounded the corner to a row of lockers, his eyes searching for Kitty. He found her laughing with another Cheerio by the water fountain.

"KITTY!" He yelled. Kitty sent her friend away fast, then wore an innocent expression.

"Hey, Half-and-half," she said. Jake balled his hand into fists as he approached her, and Marley grabbed his arms and restrained him.

"Please, please act like normal people for five seconds!" Marley said as she stood between them.

"You used a picture of a girl who goes to this school?!" Jake shook his head. "Why would you do that? He just found out you've been catfishing him. You broke him. Was that what you wanted? To break him?"

"Marissa didn't go to this school until last week," Kitty said quickly. "I found her picture on Instagram. I didn't know she'd transfer here."

"Oh yeah, because that makes everything right. You didn't know the blade was poisoned before you stabbed him!" Jake huffed heavily, his breathing hot and slow, his body tense. He wanted to hit something, to do anything to fix this.

"So you are the one who was texting Ryder?" Marley said.

"Yes." Kitty's voice was flat, and she looked away.

"Why would you do that?" Marley wiped at her eyes. "You have no idea, that look on his face, how humiliated he feels."

"I didn't mean for it to get this serious," Kitty said. "I was just playing around when it turned into… this."

"You're gonna fix this!" Jake growled. "You're going to tell him what you did, you're going to apologize. For this, for Billy Idol week, for everything."

"I can't do that," said Kitty earnestly.

"Oh, you will." Jake uncurled his fists. "Glee, today. In front of everybody. I told you if you hurt him, you'd pay. This is only half of what you owe—you can't afford the other half. What you did to him, what you did to that beautiful boy—" Jake broke off and cleared his throat, his eyes tearing up, too. Marley gazed up at him, her gaze hot and searching, but Jake didn't return it.

"Alright, I'll fix it." Kitty sighed. "At least let me start with something. Give me the phone."

"No. I'm doing damage control; you be there afterschool. Tell everything."

"Everything? Even Riley?"

"Who's Riley?" Marley looked at Jake again. "Is that the girl in Doosenberry's second period?"

"She's someone I met a while ago. That's it."

"Oh no, that's hardly it." Kitty march up to Jake, right in his face. "Like you said, I'm telling _everything_."

"Who the hell is Riley?" Marley said in vain as the bell rang.

"So how's this score going, Jake? 2 for the Wildecats, then: _Endgame_. See you at Glee." She waved with a sour smirk, then she skipped off, her ponytail bouncing behind her as if she were an innocent schoolgirl.

"Jake." Marley grabbed his hand and forced him to look at her. "Whatever it is you're hiding, I'll try to understand. Were you with another girl?"

"No, this was way before the Sadie Hawkins dance. We weren't together."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"Why does that matter?"

"I just want to know. No one seems to want to tell me anything around here." Marley threw up her hands. "Know what? I don't even care. I don't care about anybody. Nobody tells me anything, I'm somehow in the middle of everything, and I just don't care." Bitterly, she said, "See you at Glee."

Jake stood there for a moment, shocked, until a teacher urged him to get to class. How had it come to this?

* * *

Ryder almost didn't show up at Glee, but he'd been a quitter before, and he refused to be that guy. However, that meant facing Jake and Marley, and after shouting at them in the hall like an idiot, he didn't know how he could. They hadn't done anything wrong to him, but he didn't trust them. He'd been so careless, so weak, and he'd told Katie everything.

He'd gotten a message from Katie as classes ended, and he wanted to ignore it. He ended up reading them: _**I'm so sorry Ryder. I lied about my name and my face, but not about the things I wrote.**_

_**Don't ever talk to me again.**_

_**Please, I'm going to explain everything soon. Don't push away your friends because of what I did.**_

Ryder didn't reply, and when he got to the choir room, he was the only one there, except for Will and Coach Beiste.

"Mr. Shu," Ryder said with a shudder. Will looked at him with a casual smile, then he saw Ryder's puffy, red eyes.

"Ryder, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry for skipping out on Billy Idol week," Ryder said as calmly as he could, but his voice broke.

"No, don't even worry about it. I had a talk with Joe yesterday. Is everything alright?"

"Mm hmm," Ryder lied. He didn't trust his tongue, and he narrowed his eyes to hold back the tears. "I didn't want to keep missing rehearsals, so can I just sit in the back?"

"Yeah, yeah go ahead." Will frowned and watched Ryder pluck down in his seat, his shoulders and head limp in defeat. Will shared a look with Coach Beiste, who whispered, "We can work on that after rehearsals."

Ryder hugged his backpack to his chest and sunk low in his chair as the band members entered. They fiddled with their instruments, and the sound of the tuning drove him crazy. Finally, the room filled up with the New Directions. He tried not to look at Jake and Marley as they walked in, but he ended up catching their eyes anyway. He looked away immediately and smothered half his face with his backpack, leaving only his eyes visible. He saw Jake and Marley coming up the seats towards him, but Will directed them to the front row.

_Thank you, Mr. Shu_, Ryder thought with a sniffle. He felt someone plop into the seat beside him, and he looked up to see Blaine watching him with concern.

"Hey," he said with a sad smile. "I heard what happened."

"You heard about how I'm the biggest idiot in the world?"

"I heard that someone took advantage of how honest and sweet you are," Blaine said. "You don't have to feel ashamed; we all make mistakes."

"I like, broke Internet rule #1: stay anonymous."

"At least you didn't lie to yourself. Katie may not have been who she said she was, but you are, you always were. Take pride in that."

"I guess."

"And what about Jake?" Blaine gestured to the back of Jake's head below. Ryder buried his face in his backpack. What _about_ him? Ryder could feel the coiled up emotions within him springing loose, everything he'd said to himself to keep from falling apart. The worst was that he'd put his all into his textlationship with Katie, turning his every thought about Jake into a glimmer of Katie, and that glimmer vanished, a conjuration by a magician, and all that remained were his bunched up feelings of twisted affection for a ghost and a friend. There was nothing to distract him from how he felt. Seeing him with Marley left him green and envious; wanting to be that wedge made him feel like scum.

"I want him," Ryder whispered, quiet as the slither of feathers. Blaine's eyes widened and he made a sound like all the air was leaving him. That's how Ryder felt when he looked at Jake; like all of the air was drawn out of him, siphoned by a spirit thirsty for the breath of life.

"Sitting with the cool kids today," Sam said cheerfully as he came up to where they were seating. He plopped down on Ryder's left. "So, what's up? Haven't seen you in a bit, mini-me."

"Sam, exnay," Blaine said in a low voice. Sam made an "o" with his mouth and nodded.

"At least you know what you want, now," Blaine said to Ryder.

"That doesn't mean he's mine."

"_He_?" Sam asked as discreetly as possible. Ryder cringed, and Blaine shook his head erratically. "Wait, is this like that thing with you and me? I didn't hurt you like this, did I?"

"It's not like that at all. Kind of." Blaine patted Ryder's leg. "Hey, Sam is cool. You can trust him."

"I trust everyone; that's my problem."

"Hey, you're talking to the guy who got jumped for going to a Sadie Hawkins dance with a guy," Blaine said in a hushed voice. "I know what it's like to feel humiliated, broken, and really stupid because, wow, I could've just _not_ gone to that dance."

"My family lost their house, and we had to live in a motel room just off the interstate," Sam said. "I was so ashamed, I didn't want anyone here to know, but they all slowly found out, and they helped me. They actually helped me."

"I don't regret what I did because I was happy," Blaine said. "I had the time of my life at that dance, even if it ended with some jerk cracking my nose."

"My family had to move, but my dad found a new job, and I took up a, um, fun job to help around the house."

"We've got your back, Ryder. And believe it or not, this too shall pass."

"Whoa, King Solomon over here," said Sam with a grin. He wrapped an arm around Ryder and squeezed. "See, things will get better. No frowning, no sad faces. This boat runs on happy faces."

"Do one of your impressions," Blaine said. "That cheers everybody up."

"Alright, you want Sean Connery, Batman, or —just for you—Mr. Shue."

"Oh gawd, Mr. Shue," Ryder said, giggling. For a moment, he felt a little life return for him, and as Sam declared that they were doing straight-disco for Regionals because he's a hardass, he actually laughed. Jake reacted to the musical sound and glanced behind him, but Ryder paid him no mind.

"We need to work out what we're doing for Regionals," said Will. He was staring down at his paper. "Going with our theme of Last Chances, I was thinking of an all-or-nothing approach."

"Wait, Mr. Shue I have to use the bathroom!" Brittany waved her hand frantically, then she hurried out of the room. Will sighed and shrugged. "I can wait til she gets back."

"While we're waiting," said Jake loudly, "I believe Kitty has something to say." All eyes turned to Kitty, who was sitting on the far edge of the room, a black sweater concealing her Cheerios uniform in an attempt to make her less conspicuous.

"I didn't even notice her sitting there," Sam whispered.

"Okay, come up here and share," Will said as he checked the clock. Kitty gulped audibly and rose from the seat. Ryder watched her cross the room until she was standing in front of the piano.

"Hi, everyone," she said with a small wave, and under her breath, "At least Joe isn't here." The kids were silent. "Um, I have a few things to say."

"Get on with it!" Jake shouted. Will shot him a look and hushed him.

"First, um, to Ryder, well—" _Pop!_ The students froze. Will jumped toward the door and switched off the lights, and Coach Beiste led everybody to the floor. Ryder felt like he was moving in reverse as he followed Sam out of their seats to the floor below, where the piano had been pushed into the wall. His heart pounded in his chest, the panic evident on everyone's faces as kids ran by the choir room. Then the second gunshot fired, and everyone stopped breathing.

* * *

**A friend once told me that when I die, she wants to keep my brain in a jar of fluids. I laughed and told her she can't outlive an immortal.**

—"**Sir" Blackbyrd**


	7. Endgame

**Immortality is a fancy word for eternal isolation. I told her: you can have my brain if I can have your heart.**

**-Endgame-**

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

It was as if the world had been split in two; on the smaller, fragile end, the New Directions huddled against the trophy cabinet, whimpering and sobbing filling an otherwise silent room. Footsteps occasionally passed the room, and once or twice, Sam tried to run for the door, only to have "the Beiste" hold him back.

"Brittany's out there," Sam cried out. "No, no I'm gonna get Brittany."

"Sam, sit down!" Will said in a hushed voice. "Sit!" Coach Beiste managed to drag him back to the floor, where he collapsed beside Artie. Ryder held his knees to his chest, his heartbeat a cacophony in his ears.

"Guys, guys," Will said as he crouched by the door. "Text everyone you know, tweet, Facebook, whaetever. People have to know what's going on, but don't say where we are. Shooters have smart phones, too."

The kids were pulling out phones now, texting rapidly. Marley shook as she stared at her screen, here eyes clinging to tears.

"But Brittany," Sam moaned into his arms. "What if they get Brittany?"

"My mom won't text back," Marley said in her hushed voice. "There's no back way out in the kitchen."

"Shhh, shh."

"Where's Tina and Joe?" Artie asked.

"Tina was running late," Blaine said quietly as he rocked. "I think she's still in the front of the school."

"Nobody's seen Joe?" Kitty piped up. She started texting fast, and Jake just stared at his phone on the floor.

"My phone's dead," he said flatly.

"We need to record this," Artie said. "If we don't get out of here, people need to know what happened."

Ryder covered his face, his body trembling, and he ignored Artie's camera lens as he wept into his shirt. He could hear the others talking, Marley sobbing.

"Does anyone want to say something?" Artie was looking around at them. Out of all of them, his chance of survival was the lowest; no legs, and his chair was on the other side of the room. What was he thinking? Survival—had he given up already? Ryder gulped past a lump in his throat and grabbed Artie's arm.

"I do." He rubbed at his eyes and stared into the camera. "I love you, Dad. I know I don't always say it, but you've taught me a lot." He sniffed and looked at Marley, who took the phone.

"If you're watching this, there's a fake bottom in my dresser drawer. I have a journal filled with songs I wrote. I never shared them with anybody, but I'm really proud of them."

Ryder watched the camera pass around, and he got a text. He opened it hurriedly, wondering if it was Brittany, but she didn't have her phone, or if it was Tina, but he didn't have her number. Then he saw his dad's name, "Papa Lynn", on the screen.

_**I'm on my way. Listen to your teacher, stay down, I'm on my way. I love you, son. I love you so much.**_

His breath caught in his chest. If something happened, and he never got to talk to his dad again—he couldn't imagine it. He replied, and his dad offered the same advice; keep tweeting, let everyone know.

"Marley," Kitty was crying. "I'm sorry. I took up your Grease costumes to make you think you were getting fat. I'm such a—"

"Kitty!" They hugged, Kitty shaking with sobs, and she kept apologizing.

"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry, Ryder," Kitty said. They all jumped, startled, as someone rattled the doorknob. They looked at each other, barely breathing, then the other door shook. Unique shrieked into her hands, and Kitty released Marley and crawled over to her.

"Shh, shh it's alright," Kitty said. "I'm sorry, Unique." They hugged, and the room grew quiet again. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The metronome sat in the middle of the floor in a square of light, a countdown to their doom.

Ryder pulled up the name he thought he'd never trust again.

"Who're you texting?" Marley asked.

"Katie."

"I thought you said she's fake," she said.

"I know, but she's still a person, and I cared about her." Ryder sniffed and dialed her number. Jake and Kitty shared a look, and Marley held her face in her hands. Ryder waited, then he heard ringing. Everyone looked up, and when it rang again, their eyes traveled to the vacated seats, where the muffled melody played from a backpack, one of a dozen backpacks.

Ryder was frozen on the spot, the dread filling him as he realized: _Katie's here_.

"Turn that off!" Coach Beiste hissed.

"Who's phone is that?" Will demanded. "Ryder, end the call!"

"But s-she's here," he stuttered from the possibility, which was more real. Everyone was Katie; no one was Katie. Up is down; black is white.

"Turn it off, please!" Marley said. Ryder shook his head and ended the call.

"Ryder," Jake whispered. Tears spilled down his face; the diamond streaks looked unnatural on him, like something so beautiful should not be tainted by something so infectious as tears. Ryder felt fingers grope at his own, and Jake took his hand in his.

"Mr. Shue, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sam said as he crawled over to Will. "I gotta go. I gotta get Brittany. She's in the bathroom, she doesn't have her phone."

"Sam, get down!" Will hissed. Sam was running for the door, and Ryder squeezed the hand in his, picturing Sam falling, dying, it could happen any moment. Will and Coach Beiste grappled Sam, and Will covered his mouth.

"You're putting everyone in danger," said Coach Beiste.

"Brittany—"

"Look at them!" They forced Sam to look at the huddled kids. When they met eyes, Ryder pleaded silently with him, wanting, like everyone, for them to stay quiet. "Look at them!" Sam nodded, and when they released him, he settled onto the floor beside Artie, his body shaking. He pushed the camera away when Artie asked him if he had anything to say, and Ryder felt added warmth to his hand. Marley was covering it as well, three palms of three different shades, three lives and three lost lovers.

"Ryder," Kitty whispered from across the room. He looked up at her; her eyes puffy from crying, eyeliner dripping like the blood of a Gorgon down her cheeks. "It's my phone. Don't blame Jake."

"What?" Ryder just stared at her. She was crying heavily and couldn't look him in the eye, but he stared, trying to peel her apart with his eyes and solve the puzzle. He only looked away when his phone buzzed.

"Shhh!" Will looked at him, signaling to silence his phone. It was a text from his dad: _**Ryder, keep texting me. Tell me you're alright.**_

_**I'm okay, dad. We're all okay.**_

_**I just saw a SWAT team go in through the cafeteria. Tell your friend Marley I'm with her mom. She dropped her phone under the counter.**_ Ryder read the text with a sigh of somewhat relief.

"Your mom's okay, Marley," he said. She looked at him with wide eyes and snatched at the phone.

"She's out. Oh my god, she's out."

"Nobody move, no sounds," said Will as he stood.

"Mr. Shue!" Blaine said.

"Shannon, hold down the fort for me," he said. "I'm going to get Brittany."

"Don't do this, Mr. Shue," Marley said through tears.

"Better me than any of you. I love you guys." Will crept to the door, took one last look at the New Directions, then he hurried into the hall in a crouching run. Coach Beiste crept to the door and locked it when he left.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"Why is he taking so long?" Someone whispered. Ryder kept texting his dad, and he found himself telling him everything, from what he had for breakfast, his textlationship with Katie, to how he felt about Jake, how confused he was all the time, how no one seemed to understand what it was like to have a blender for a brain, to how much he missed his mom sometimes. His dad just kept replying, encouraging and not commenting a single word on what he said, making it so easy to spill.

"I just talked to Joe," Kitty said in a rush. "He said he sees Tina. They're alright." Unique hugged her, and they both stared at the phone.

"Celeste just tweeted she's with Ms. Bletheim. They made it out."

"Where is Mr. Shue?" Blaine watched the door nervously. Ryder got another text, and he glanced at it quickly.

_**I love you, son. I love you for who you are, every part of you. You're going to make it out of this, and we can talk about anything you want. Forget work, forget school, we can get away for a bit. Just hold on.**_

Ryder nodded as if he could see him, then everyone froze. Footsteps thundered up the hall, and the doorknob rattled. Marley started sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder, and Jake tightened his grip on both of their hands. Coach Beiste grabbed their Nationals trophy and brandished it like a bat, facing the door, the samurai between the shooter and the kids. The door rattled again, and they heard keys jingling. Coach Beiste's eyes widened and she set aside the trophy.

"Will!" She said as Will opened the door, ushering in three students with him. It was Brittany, Riley, and one of the kids in Ryder's second period. Even as they rushed in, Will gasped as someone walked up to him and held two fingers to his lips. Men in black gear slipped through the hall like shadows, modern shinobi, and one of them waved to the students. Will followed his example and hurried inside, helping everyone to their feet. Sam flipped Artie over his shoulder, and Jake grabbed his wheelchair and folded it up. They snuck out of the room, six armed men with the letters "SWAT" glistening silver on their chests leading them down the hall.

As soon as they burst out onto the schoolyard, they were encompassed by staff and police. Ryder realized with a pang that he was still holding Jake and Marley's hands, and they stumbled across the pavement in an awkward, rotating triangle. Then he saw his dad, standing behind the police line, and he broke his hold, running toward him. He ignored the shouts and ran straight into his arms.

"My boy," Mr. Lynn was saying through tears. "I thought I'd lost you."

"You didn't lose me," Ryder said. "I'm okay." Around him, everyone was doing the same. Millie, who was smiling with relief at Ryder, spotted Marley and nearly tripped over the line to get to her.

All the while, Ryder hugged his father, and they both cried because at last it was over, it was all over. Ryder felt someone's hand on his back, and he looked up to see Jake nod at him. Mr. Lynn took in the boy's appearance and whispered, "Jake?" in Ryder's ear. Ryder nodded. His father smiled and hugged him again.

Finally, the sirens stopped.

* * *

_Zzzrrrrp!_ The metal detector skimmed over Ryder's shoulders, and when it received no alert, the security guards let him through. He shouldered his backpack on and walked up the hall casually. He'd arrived early, knowing there'd be a process getting in, and he avoided the crowd of students that bottlenecked at the door.

Jake and Marley walked down the hall, holding hands, but unsmiling.

"How'd you sleep?" Jake asked.

Startled, Marley said, "I didn't. Me and my mom just kind of sat around my room."

"I spent the night talking to mine. Puck called me, too."

"It's surreal being back." She sighed and clenched his hand. "I talked to Riley after the shooting. We ended up group together when the police recorded our accounts."

"I'm sorry, Marley."

"So you had sex with some girl before we were together, whatever." She bit her lip before looking at him. "And for some weird reason, you called out for Ryder? Whatever. That was then. At least, I hope it was then. Is it now?"

"Ryder's my friend," Jake said quietly. "At least he was until this Katie crap. I'm your boyfriend. If I seemed pushy or, like you said, possessive, I just didn't want anyone to forget that."

"I get it. Hey, I have to see my mom real quick before first period."

"Want me to walk you to class?" Jake stared after her, and she cocked her head to one side in thought.

"Um… no, I'll be fine. I want to get over the trauma as fast as possible."

"I understand." She smiled at him, then she skipped off for the cafeteria. Jake sighed and turned in the opposite direction. He had someone to make amends with.

Ryder noticed Jake at the end of the hall, talking to Marley, but he didn't make eye contact with them. Instead, he found himself standing next to Kitty at his locker. She was wearing her usual smirk, which was surprising, all things considered.

"Hi," Ryder said.

"Morning, Sam-I-Am," she said. "Gawd, you two even cry the same."

"That's rich. I'm in stitches," said Ryder dryly.

"I came here to apologize. You know the truth. I'm Katie. I'm the big baddie, the Lex Luthor to the Mega Stud."

"Yeah."

"So, now what? Are you going to curse me out, hit me, or what?" It was then that he saw it: behind her eyes, a hurting creature. He sighed and shook his head.

"No. I'm hurt, but after yesterday, everything else seems weak in comparison."

"I didn't even get to say everything," Kitty said. "I was the one who asked Jake to drop you as his partner."

"What?"

"I blackmailed him with a secret of his. He found out I was Katie, and we had a deal; he wouldn't tell you if I stopped texting you and didn't tell anyone about his secret or that I'm Katie."

"What was his secret?"

"You think I'm just going to tell you?!"

"Well, you broke both ends of your deal. You were still texting me, and we all know you're Katie. It's only fair."

"No, I'm done with other people's secrets." Kitty smiled slyly. "Well, just one more: Jake convinced Unique and Joe to give you their tickets to Rinky Dink's."

"Jake did that?" Ryder found himself glancing down the hall, and Kitty watched him closely.

"Yeah, he did. He cares about you." Her eyes skimmed over him. "I once said you're not my type, well we all know I'm not the most honest of people."

"Kitty, hold on…"

"I really like you, Ryder. You're really sweet, cute of course, and I got to know you in a way I didn't deserve." Kitty rubbed at her eye, which was conspicuously wet. "You really are an angel; I'm a devil, and all I've done is hurt you. I see the way you look at Jake. I get it. I don't belong."

"Kitty…" Ryder swallowed hard and held her face in his hands. "I forgive you." Her eyes widened, and he leaned over and kissed her brow. "Life is too short; now we know that firsthand."

"Yeah, it is." She nodded, tears spilling from her eyes. "YOLO, right?"

"Ha… never say that again." They both laughed, and he handed her a tissue from her locker.

"I'll see you at Glee," she said as she dabbed at her eyes. "Mr. Shue said he has something special planned, so…"

"Where are you going?"

"Well…" Kitty shrugged and blushed. "I need to go find Joe. Glee; no skipping out."

"I'll see you there. Remember, happy face." They shared a smile, then Kitty walked away. Ryder looked past her at Jake, who was watching him from his end. A moment paused, most of it just Ryder trying not to stare, then Jake was at his side, his gaze intense and searching.

"Hi." That was all Ryder could say.

"Hi." Jake didn't blink. "I heard a little of what you said to Kitty."

"Did you?"

"You're so perfect." The words stung, and Ryder didn't know if it was sarcasm or honesty. "However much you say otherwise, you're perfect. Kitty was spot on, calling you an angel."

"Jake, don't do this?" Ryder turned away and began stuffing books in his bag.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Don't look at me like that, like you're trying to ignite me with your eyes. Don't say things that make me hope." He looked over at Jake, his head bent from searching for his pens. "I like you, okay? I think _you're_ perfect, in a weird, chimera way, like a bunch of crazy things stuck together to make… you."

"According to Katie," Jake said coolly, "you don't just like me."

"Fine!" Ryder dropped his bag and faced him. "I-I'm in love with you. Is that what you want to hear? You want to torture me next, or was humiliating me and the school getting locked down not enough?"

"I don't want to torture you." Jake took Ryder's hand in his own, but Ryder shrugged it off. "I want to love you." A nuclear explosion in his chest, the catalyst being his words, and Ryder felt himself grow hot all over. His face was frozen in shock, but he felt Jake grab his hand again. This time, he held on tight. "I'm sorry I let this happen. I was so selfish."

"You love me?" Ryder asked again.

Jake nodded. "I can't believe I held myself back over a dumb secret."

"The Riley secret?"

"I've been with a lot of girls, Ryder, I'm not gonna lie. It wasn't happy; it wasn't fulfilling. It was like a firework every time; fun and over in an instance."

"You don't have to tell me about this."

"No, you deserve to know the truth." Jake sighed. "I thought what I was doing made me a man, but that's not something someone else can give you. Somehow, when I'm with you, I feel like a man."

"You don't need me to feel that." _Is this really happening?_ Ryder had to fight to keep from smiling.

"I really think I do. I don't have to pretend when I'm with you. I don't just need you, I want you."

"I want you, too." Ryder drew closer as he spoke, wanting more of him, needing to feel him. Then a smiling face lingered in his imagination, and he released Jake's hand. "But we can't."

"What do you mean?"

"You love Marley. We can't do this."

"We can figure something out." He pleaded with his eyes. "You've no idea how long I was lost. Nothing in my life is normal; you're the only thing I'm sure about."

"I'm sure, too. I mean, yeah, I had my thing with Marley and that's over, but I care about her just you like you do. We can't do this to her." Ryder rubbed the back of his head, feeling his muscles knot up. "You can't do this to her. No matter what you may feel, or what I feel, what about Marley? How does she feel?"

Jake's stare grew despondent, and he nodded slowly. "She loves me.. and she'd be devastated." As if to prove his point, Marley appeared around the corner and waved at the boys. She caught up with Tina, who embraced her tearfully.

"Is it possible to love two people at once?" Jake asked as he watched Marley and Tina talk.

"Of course. I did until yesterday."

"There was so much I wanted to say." Jake turned and looked at Ryder. "I guess I could start with this." He pulled a slim, pink phone from his backpack. Ryder took it slowly, realizing what it is. "The Katie phone. I confiscated it from Kitty."

"Did you ever look through it?"

"Um…" Jake shrugged casually, his ears turning red. "I saw the pictures you sent."

"Oh god."

"I can see how Kitty got addicted." It was Ryder's turn to flush bright pink, and he stashed the phone in his backpack. Jake grinned and said almost to himself, "I really want to kiss you."

Ryder stared up at him, wide-eyed. "Except, you can't."

"I know." Jake nodded sadly and stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Hey!" Marley bounced to his side. She laid a hand on Ryder's cheek and smiled at him. "How've you been Ryder?"

"Alright. I spent more time with my dad yesterday than I have for a year."

"Something good came out of this," Marley said. "He must be an awesome guy to raise a son like you." This pulled a smile out of him. She looked at Jake with a raised eyebrow. "Well, to World History?"

"I thought you wanted to get over the trauma as soon as possible," Jake said, skeptical.

"I changed my mind after seeing my mom. Live every day like it's your last." She held out her arm. "To World History, my lord?"

"Of course, milady." Jake took her arm with a smile, and they walked toward their World History class. Jake looked back at Ryder, his smile fading away, and Ryder saw his own sorrow and yearning reflected in his obsidian eyes. Feeling his own tear up, Ryder grabbed his backpack off the floor and slammed his locker shut, then he jogged to the nearest bathroom.

Security guards were scanning the lockers along the hall, and Principal Figgins checked off the ones holding "suspicious" items. Ryder smiled reassuringly at Coach Beiste as they passed in the hall, and he noted the broken expressions on all of the students' faces, their innocence and sense of youthful invincibility shattered by a fleeting hell.

"Hey, Sam-I-Am." Sam bumped into Ryder and flashed a smile at him. "Kitty mentioned you and she called you that; it has a ring to it, right?"

"I suppose it does," Ryder said, briefly pulled out of his thoughts.

"I'll get you a highlight-pink shirt that says 'Sam-I-Am' in huge letters. How're you holding up?"

"Better than most. How's Brittany?" At the mention of her name, Sam's expression darkened.

"She's okay. We have a _talk_ coming up."

"Those doesn't sound fun."

"They usually aren't. Did you ever get to the bottom of the Katie-thing?"

"Yeah. Remember the phone going off yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"That was Katie. I'll tell you more about it later."

"Sounds good; I need something other than gun-policies and Lord Tubbington to talk about." He patted Ryder on the shoulder and gave him two thumbs-up. "See you at rehearsal."

Ryder smiled in response, then he turned into the bathroom. He checked under the stalls, making sure no one was there before he let the tears fall, his hands gripped around the sink. Just as a single drop fell from one eye, the bathroom door burst open, and he wiped at it quickly. He turned to see Jake standing in front of him, his chest heaving as if he'd been running.

"Jake?"

"You're my drug, Ryder. I wish I could quit you, but you've completely conquered me." He drew closer to him, his eyes as earnest as Ryder's ever seen. "You're in my veins, in my heart, like a sweet poison. You're the best man in my life."

Ryder's mouth fell open. "Jake…" But then he was closing the gap between them, grabbing up Ryder's waist, and their lips pressed together. Fire under skin and brimstones in their bones; their arms tangling in a pretzel as their chests met, each pushing and moaning into the kiss, the glorious feeling of releasing everything they'd sworn they'd keep hidden, like puncturing a barrel of oil and letting the sun set it ablaze. Too soon, they pulled apart, their eyes closed and their bottom-lips sticking together for a fraction of a second. They hugged, both struck by the tragedy of it all, of how a sightless man could die the day before someone discovers the cure for blindness, never knowing how the sun can turn the sea into gemstones.

"It's so unfair," Ryder cried into the crook of Jake's neck.

"Shh, I know, I know."

"I'll wait for you," Ryder whispered. "I promise, I'll wait for you."

"You don't have to do that for me."

"No, I'm doing it for me." Ryder dropped his arms to his side, and Jake followed suit. Already he missed the warm weight around his waist, and it took all his power not to embrace him again.

"I don't want you to hurt anymore," said Jake. "I won't hold you to your promise."

"You won't have to; I'll keep it. For now, we're friends." Ryder held out his hand. "Right?"

"Right…" Jake shook his hand, the gesture so formal compared to what they'd just done. Jake darted forward and kissed Ryder on the cheek, and a sigh escaped Ryder's lips as he parted. "See you at Glee… friend." Then he left.

The tears started to fall immediately, and Ryder held his arm up to his face, feeling ashamed of them and wishing he could just stop existing. His heart was still as jittery as a nervous horse's, and he knew that "friends" wouldn't work. Every time they look at one another, this would be between them, an unspoken bond and a curse.

_He's not yours and never will be_, Ryder told himself. He looked through his backpack to find a tissue when he noticed two strips of paper next to this folders. He pulled them out, smiling through tears as he recognized them. _That's right… I still have two tickets_.

* * *

**900+ views tells me I shouldn't end here, and the people have spoken! I'll wait a few episodes before I write another chapter for the sake of continuity (I already have an unfinished outline for a future chapter 8 involving Finn, strep throat, and steamy text messages), so until then, follow my tumblr: wingerwriters. I write original stories as well, so check it out and stay updated.**

—**Blackbyrd**

**P.S. It's not true gay-romance until you quote **_**Brokeback Mountain**_**.**


	8. Sweet

**This fanfic officially exists in "Earth-2". Yup, we're going all "parallel universe" here, and Ryder is our Red Son.**

* * *

**-Sweet-**

Ryder sat restless in Geography, his eyes trained on the board but his mind miles away. He coughed heavily, drawing a few stares, and he shot an apologetic smile at his classmates as he cleared his throat. It'd been scratchy all morning, and he felt lightheaded. A part of him wanted to go home, but Finn had promised an amazing routine for the New Directions today.

It'd been two weeks since the shooting, and already, everyone was back to routine. After Will surprised everyone wit the return of Finn, it was like a fire had been set under everyone, reminding them just how big a deal Regionals was. But that wasn't the only thing lighting up Ryder.

Seeing Jake every day was hard at first; their conversations were stiff and stilted, and if Marley was around, they barely spoke to each other at all. It was exactly as Ryder had feared; they'd never be the same. That was until the other day.

_Bzzz_. Ryder paled as his phone vibrated in his pocket, but no one heard it. He eased it out of his pocket, his eyes on Mr. Crankers the entire time, then he glanced down. It was a text from Jake.

_**I had a dream about you last night.**_

Ryder smiled, thrilled, and typed:

_**Was thair a space fight? In my dreams, everyone dies protecting Earth from alien threats.**_

_**Nope. This one had a happy ending ;)**_

Ryder's smile widened, but he checked himself and kept his eye out for the teacher. He was busy pointing out the ridge of Chile on the board.

_**How did it end?**_

There was a long pause. Finally: _**A happy ending…**_

_**Yeah, so how did it end?**_ Ryder noticed Mr. Crankers turning, so he made it appear that he was a hundred-percent focused on Geography. As if. When he got a reply, it was just a link. He opened his web browser, only to be taken to Urban Dictionary. _A happy ending… Wait a second_—

"The test tomorrow is worth 27% of your grade!" Mr. Crankers suddenly shouted. Ryder nearly jumped out of his seat. "Failing this test could turn you're A into a C, or your B into a D. And for some of you," he stared at Ryder, "a D into the biggest F you'll ever enjoy in your pathetic adolescence."

_Ouch_. Ryder put his notebook away as the bell rang, and he followed his peers out into the hall. He hadn't meant for it to come to this; he just thinking of Jake drove him crazy, but he'd wanted to put up a wall, build distance, anything to make his days less bearable. The thought of the test would usually depress him, but it was the perfect distraction. Instead of checking his phone every two minutes, he would turn it off and focus on studying. Instead of refreshing his Twitter timeline, he would flip through his flash cards. Until he took that exam, he was strictly on a Jake-free diet, no matter how much he hungered.

"Hey!" _Speak of the handsome devil_. Ryder hid his discomfort in a smile as Jake sidled up to him. "I hope you didn't freak out over the link."

"What? Nah, it's cool."

"I brought you something." Jake rummaged through his backpack, then he handed Ryder a wad of newspapers.

"What is this…?" Ryder peeled the paper away, revealing a leather bracelet dotted with beads. "Whoa."

"I saw it at the flea market yesterday, and I know you like handmade stuff."

"I don't know what to say." When he turned the beads over, he saw that some of them had the Virgo sign on them as well as his jersey number, 19, while some of them were inscribed with an Egyptian eye.

"I asked the lady if she could carve the eyes into them."

"These are the Millennium Eyes, like from the original Yu-Gi-Oh."

"Yep, I had to show her a picture."

"And my name?!" He hadn't noticed the letters of his name strung in red thread around the cuff. "Dude, you gave me like the greatest friendship bracelet of all time."

"Pretty lame, right? I kind of feel like I'm in kindergarten all over again."

"I think it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me. Thank you." Ryder looked up at Jake, feeling the urge to cross the space between them, but he kept at bay.

"I was thinking about you. I think about you a lot."

"Enough to dream about me?" Ryder said jokingly.

"I don't know how to tell you this," Jake said with a big sigh, as if the words inflated him like a balloon. "That wasn't the first dream I've had…"

"Y-You actually have dreams about me?" Ryder tried to sound casual, but his heart jumped up into his throat. He'd thought Jake was teasing him. "Do these dreams always have, um, happy endings?"

"Mmm, most of them do…" Jake bit his lip with a seductive wink. "Sometimes I wake up before the action and have to finish the job myself."

"Wah—Gwam—wǎn'ān—," Ryder's words tumbled over his tongue and crashed into the back of his front teeth, and he blew a raspberry in frustration. How could he respond to something like that?

"Was that Mandarin?" Jake snorted and patted Ryder's shoulder as he stepped past him. He whispered in his ear, "Nice to know I can make you speechless. See you at Glee." Then he walked away, leaving Ryder with a hundred things he wanted to say, things he shouldn't say, things someone had to say, and things that were making him sweat. The first among them was "Hello, _Marley_!" But a close second was "Right now, please."

Ryder exhaled hard and hoped his face wasn't red as he walked through the crowd of students. He'd sworn off sugar, then Jake showed up with the richest pastry and dared him to have a taste; he'd need insulin after this.

* * *

Jake stepped into the auditorium quietly, his eyes scanning the darker recesses of the stage for any movement.

"Anyone in here?" Jake called out. Only his echo greeted him, so he hopped onto the stage and hurried behind the curtain. Throwing his backpack down, he switched on the stereo left behind on the piano and hooked it up to his iPod, his mind racing the entire time.

_Can't keep him out of my head, even my dreams aren't safe_, he thought as he went through the songs. Seeing Ryder every day, even when he was at Marley's side, was like a constant thriller, a suspenseful story surrounding two predators circling one another, and try as he might, he couldn't resist giving Ryder a scratch or two. Ryder was so… composed. His approach was diplomatic and careful, always cautious and delicate, and if it wasn't for their shared kiss two weeks before, Jake would've believed that Ryder had never felt anything for him at all. That he could wear such a mask scared Jake a little, but it wasn't nearly as scary as the thought that his feelings were one-sided. He'd kept his cool for a week, almost a fortnight… then the compulsion grew stronger, and the next thing he knew, he was testing Ryder. Winking at him from across the hall, sending him suggestive text messages, finding any excuse to touch him, just to elicit a response from Ryder, any sign that what he was feeling was still mutual.

Ryder didn't make this easy at all.

Jake smiled as the image of Ryder's reddened face swam before his vision, so innocent but so intrigued, and he was reassured. That kiss wasn't an illusion, nor a dream, it was real.

Jake popped in the one song that'd been stuck in his head all week. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he'd become a big PSY fan after they'd done _Gangnam Style_ at Sectionals, and as _Gentleman_ began to play, Jake slid away from the stereo and moved his body to the throbbing bass. He spun around, rose into a piqué, then turned into a pirouette, anything to feel motion in his body and take his mind off of his troubles. A second later, and he'd completely abandoned his ballet techniques and was gyrating like a maniac to the song. Thrusting and backflipping, twirling on his hands and freeze-dancing, feeling truly free. This was better than sitting in the cafeteria and trying _not_ to stare at Ryder across the table.

Caught in his dance, Jake was completely unaware of the camera lens poking through the curtains. His spirited moves were all captured on film, and as Jake tossed off his soaked shirt and spun into his big finale, the cameraman drew away, suppressing giggles and already sending the video.

* * *

Ryder spotted Kitty texting by the water fountain, and with a deep breath, he approached her.

"Hi," he said calmly. Kitty stared up at him with wide eyes.

"Is this a dream? Are you actually talking to me?"

"I know I've been standoffish for a bit—"

"Standoffish? After I apologized and you went hipster-chill-Jesus on me, I thought we were cool, then you avoid me like I'm a batch of cold sores."

"I'm really sorry about that."

Kitty sighed. "You have every right to avoid me, okay? Just don't have me thinking I'm in the green only to completely cut me off."

"I won't. At least, I'm not trying to. I wanted to talk."

"This is going well," Kitty muttered. "Walk with me to the choir room?"

"Sure." Kitty joined her arm under Ryder's, like an escort, and they made their way down the hall.

"We talked about a lot of personal things," Ryder said, clearing his throat nervously. "I just want to clear things up."

"I won't tell anyone your secrets. You know some of mine, too."

"Were they real secrets?" Kitty stared into Ryder's face, her expression sarcastic.

"Nope, they were all lies and I totally went out on a psycho-limb not because I liked you and think you're as cute as a retarded Andrew Garfield, but because I'm just vindictive for no reason."

"Retarded Andrew Garfield… is that a good thing?"

"Anything related to Andrew Garfield is a good thing."

"Okay… so we're good?"

"Yeah. We're good." They walked into the choir room together.

Finn was writing on the board, and Will was missing. Ryder planted beside Kitty behind Jake and Marley, and as the students poured in, Finn turned and tapped the board.

"Alright, while Mr. Shue is currently staking out the competition, I came up with a few great ideas for Regionals."

"No more 80s duets!" Tina shouted.

"Um, noted." Finn smiled, then he pointed out what he wrote on the board: Explosion. "We need to explode on that stage. We have to think big; big voices, big performance, something moving. I spent the last 72 hours watching hundreds of choreography videos to figure out how it would flow, but the point is, I want you guys to perform an energetic song that commands attention."

"Wait, you're working on choreography?" Artie shook his head in disapproval. "No offense Finn, but I've got better moves than you do, and my legs don't work."

"Wow, that was pretty cold," Finn said with a polite nod.

Blaine frowned at Artie, then he turned and said, "I think what Artie was trying to say is that we're not completely confident in your research, so it would be best to reassure us, or share you found."

"Blaine, your optimism is touching," Finn said. "Okay, so I'm not the best dancer in the world."

"Say that again," Artie muttered.

"But I do have vision, and that's all it takes, plus some help from our best dancers on the team right now." Finn whipped out a clipboard. "Brittany and Jake, can you come up here?" They joined him in front of the other students, and he showed them the pages of his clipboard. "Do you guys think you can replicate that?"

"You drew all of these figures?" Jake asked.

"Why aren't they moving?" Brittany said. "We can't just do poses the whole time, unless we do _Vogue_."

"Brittany—wow." Finn passed out music sheets. "Alright, I was thinking Unique can cover the solo here… Marley, you take one, this part is perfect for you. Sam, Blaine, you decide between each other how you want to take this on." Finn stood back in front of the students and sighed. "Guys, I let you down once before, and I don't ever want to do that again."

"You didn't let us down," Blaine said.

"Yeah, it was Marley who passed out," said Tina with a snort.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm putting in a hundred percent," Finn said. Under his breath he said, "Plus I get credits for being here, and winning Regionals would be like sticking a gold star onto my résumé, Rachel Berry-style."

"I've really missed you, Finn," Marley said with an encouraging smile. She looked around at her peers. "Let's do this! I'm putting in a hundred percent, too."

Tina smirked dryly. "If you feel lightheaded, bring it down to fifty."

"Thank you," Finn said. Jake slid over to him and said in a low voice, "Um, Mr. Hudson…"

"Just call me Finn. 'Mr. Hudson' kind of perpetuates my existential crisis."

"Right, Finn. These are some complicated moves. If I drop Brittany or Marley, they could, like, die."

"Yeah, they really could!" Finn said excitedly. "But I've been paying attention to the motions in a lot of epic performances, how the whole point is to draw the audience's eyes in patterns. Besides, Sue Sylvester does crazy stunts like this all the time and the Cheerios do fine."

"Many of the Cheerios come to school in neck braces and bruises," Jake said.

"Yeah, but they also show up with shining, first place trophies from every competition."

"I just don't know if I can do this."

"You're a great dancer, Jake."

"But this takes serious upper body strength, and me and Brittany would have to time it perfectly—"

"Hey, you just gotta stop overthinking it," Finn said. "I saw that video of you dancing in the auditorium, and you were great. It was like coordinated chaos."

"Wait, what video…?"

"The video you made in the auditorium. You were like a dancing jedi, like Yoda with a groove."

"I never made a video in the auditorium."

Finn frowned, confused, and he pulled out his phone. "Someone sent me this after lunch. This is definitely you." He showed him the video, and Jake's eyes widened, horrified.

"I didn't take this."

"Well someone did… anyway, you can do this. Are you free afterschool tomorrow? We need to rehearse as soon as possible."

"S-Sure. Who sent you that?"

"One of the Cheerios. Not sure how she got my number."

"Give me a name."

"I don't remember her name, but she wears a neck brace. You okay?"

"Why would someone film me? I was totally spaced out, trying to clear my thoughts. That was personal!"

"It's not like anyone can read your mind watching this."

"Yeah, but they can read my body, and it speaks for itself."

"Okay…" Finn put away his phone awkwardly. "I'll let you figure this out." He left Jake in thought, and he pulled Ryder to the side.

"You wanted to talk, Finn?" Ryder inquired.

"Yes. Like usual, I want to lead into the big dance number with a duet or a slower piece." Finn spread his hands. "Unlike usual, I don't want the male and female lead singing a romantic ballad as the rest of the New Directions is introduced. We've done that literally three years in a row, and it's becoming our thing. We need to stay unpredictable or we'll lose effectiveness."

"Wow, you really have done your research."

"I was going to ask Blaine and Sam to take the leads, but that'd be overdoing it since they're starting off the big dance number, then I looked over my notes and realized I totally shaved off some of your parts."

"I don't really mind. Whatever it takes to win."

"But, I want you to take the lead on the ballad."

"That's a big deal, and I'm still new. Are you sure?"

"Definitely. I'm going for a contrast of masculinity and femininity… wow, I usually screw that word up. Femininity. Femininity." Finn grinned, then he grew serious once more. "Sorry. The point is to go through a spectrum of emotions and atmospheres. I've been looking at some heavy pieces that we can rock out to on stage, and I need the guys to be on point."

"Why?"

"Looking at our competition, and our past competitions, this art is kind of dominated by girls. Regardless of the male-female ration in a choir, there is usually a higher dependence on the female vocals, and I want us to stand out. So, I have parts divided between you and Jake—"

"Wait, you want me and Jake to sing a ballad?"

"Yeah, your voices work well together."

"Um, a love ballad?"

"It can be, but it doesn't have to be in that context. Didn't you two sing Closer together?"

"That's different."

"How so?"

"Because…" Ryder glanced out of the corner of his eye at Jake, who was frowning in a corner at the papers Finn had given him. "Well, because that was just for fun."

"You said whatever it takes to win. Starting our performance with a gritty, manly duet is what we need to shake the judges before we do our big dance number, then I want to end on a lighter phase, like take a pop song and end the last chorus soft and slow with our ladies at the reins."

"I get what you're doing, but are you sure me and Jake fit the role?" Just when he'd been trying to gain some distance, he'd been hit with this.

"What? You two have crazy chemistry."

"What're you talking about?! We have no chemistry!"

"Dude, I just mean stage presence… People love a good bromance. We kind of pulled this off at Regionals last year, when Sam and Blaine led our Michael Jackson medley."

_Do you have to say bromance?_ Ryder cringed, and he looked over at Jake again. Finn examined his expression carefully.

"If you're really uncomfortable with this, I can have Artie take over your part, though his voice is higher, so I'd have to change up the selections…"

"No, I'm cool with it." Ryder nodded with a sigh. "A few weeks ago, I told myself that _I_ was going to put in a hundred percent for Glee. I'm not going to be a quitter."

"That's the right attitude! I knew I made the right choice getting you on stage with me." Finn handed him another music sheet, then he knocked him in the back. "There you go. Get practicing!"

Ryder sauntered to his seat and stared at the music lines. He realized the notes were in large print especially for him, and the thought that Finn had planned for him to sing the lead and was confident that he'd do it made him smile. He looked up, his eyes long-trained to find Jake. Brittany and Jake were by the piano, practicing some weird hopping step. Jake slipped up and laughed, then their eyes met, and he slowly grew serious.

"Ryder, you're staring." Kitty nudged him to attention, and he quickly looked back down at his music sheets.

"Thanks."

"You can't keep doing this. It's a disaster waiting to happen."

"I don't really have a choice. Imagine you go on a candy diet, and every time you turn a corner, a giant Twix bar is leaning against the wall, giving you the sexy eyes and making suggestive gestures with his chocolaty crotch."

"Wow, that was some delicious imagery. You sure have a sweet tooth."

"Ha ha."

"I heard what Finn said. Do you think you can do a ballad with your personal _Willy_ Wonka?"

"Honestly, it's no problem. It's the meeting him, _alone_, for extensive amounts of time, _alone_, where we sing together, and touch each other, and make awkward eye contact, and the innuendos—"

"I get it. So why don't you _not_ be alone?"

"Hm…"

"I'll join you for your individual rehearsals for support. I'll, um, play the piano or something."

"You can play?"

"I told you that before."

"Katie told me that, but you didn't. If you don't say it yourself, it doesn't count."

"Fine, Ryder, I can play piano just a little." She examined his music sheets. "This won't be a problem."

"How will you always be there? Won't Jake get suspicious?" Ryder sighed. "I don't want to hurt him."

"Marley can join, too. We'll rotate."

"Marley doesn't know. She can't know."

"She doesn't have to, she just needs to be there."

"Alright… Thank you."

"No problem. I'm kind of repaying my debt for, you know, screwing you over with a fake identity."

"You're doing a fine job," Ryder smiled. Kitty grinned back, then she explained some of the parts to him.

* * *

Jake stepped out of the bathroom and walked back to the choir room, but he paused at the door when he heard his name called.

"Puckerman!" He turned, surprised to see Roz Washington walking up to him.

"Coach Washington?"

"I have been lookin' for you all over the damn place."

"Am I in trouble?"

"No, but my Cheerios are." She held up her phone, which showed the video of Jake dancing. He immediately grimaced and looked away. "When I confiscated this phone, I half expected to see horse-porn because some of these kids are on meth, and they'll watch anything."

"What?"

"I haven't seen dancing like this since that Other Asian was going here, and we need some fresh booty on the Cheerios, some soul. Sue Sylvester may like her flat androids busting through steps for her cheers, but Coach Roz wants life out there."

"Wait, are you asking me to join the Cheerios?"

"I'm not asking." Coach Washington tapped away at the phone, and suddenly Jake's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, and when he opened the message, he swore in disgust. It was an obscene image of a man and a woman riding what appeared to be their prized horse. Or it was riding them.

"What the—"

"Puckerman, what is this on your phone?" Coach Washington snatched his phone up and stared at the image in shock. "Well whaddya know? There was horse porn. I just might have to report you to Principal Figgins for sexting."

"But you just sent that!"

"Don't argue with me, boy!" She forwarded the image on his phone back to hers. "My interests are always in keeping this school safe and the students on their best behavior. This is inappropriate."

"Are you framing me?!"

"I could be a little lenient because you don't usually give me problems, Mr. Puck-Er-Man. It's too bad you're not on the Cheerios." They stared each other down, a pure Mexican stand-off, and the vein in Jake's neck throbbed in anger.

"I'll join," he said through clenched teeth. Coach Washington smiled and handed him his phone.

"Hell yeah you are! Practice is at 4. Don't be late, and tell your friend Blaine, the human cocktail—my gawd he is one fruity concoction—to bring his butt to practice. Oh, and since I have proof that you sent this poor girl this disgusting, pornographic image from your phone, I suggest you be cooperative. Bye, now!" She stalked off, victorious, and Jake fumed in the hallway. Blackmailed into joining the Cheerios _and_ he had one of the hardest dance routines he ever saw to perfect? Perfect.

* * *

**I have returned. If you haven't already, please check out my partner's original story here at FictionPress: s/3119160/1/Witch-s-Rhapsody. Just add the site name. I get to read the early drafts, and it's brilliant. Our Tumblr is: wingerwriters.**

**—Blackbyrd**

**P.S. To my one reader in China, I apologize if I butchered your language. I am still learning at a very slow pace. 回头见**


	9. Diverging

**-Diverging-**

Ryder staid in his seat as the rest of the students filed out of the classroom. His eyes watered with the tides of letters that'd assaulted them over the past sixty minutes. Three-thousand-six-hundred seconds of two-parts mental swimming, one-part mental drowning. That test was grueling; in the last twenty minutes, after trying so hard, he just drifted away.

"Mr. Lynn?" Mr. Crankers was waving his hand in front of him. "Ryder!"

"Huh?" Ryder jumped in his seat. "Sorry, is class over?"

"Yes, it is. Your test paper?" Mr. Crankers snatched up his paper and examined it through his thick glasses. "Mmm."

"What is it?"

"You may go. I like my lunch in peace."

"Of course." Ryder picked up his backpack and left the room, feeling heavy and treading water. He knew he failed that test. Several nights of flash cards and notes had done nothing for him.

Ryder saw Jake coming up the hall, and he wanted to swerve in the opposite direction and flee before he saw him… but, they had a number to practice, and he couldn't avoid him forever. Jake saw him and his eyes lit up.

"Hey!" He called from across the hall and jogged over. "I didn't see you in the cafeteria."

"Yeah, I kind of dozed off in class and missed the bell."

"Well do you want to practice our number? I have muffins if you're hungry." Jake held up a bag of fresh muffins and smirked.

"Sure."

"Finn said he gave you like five different songs."

"Yeah, I'm still figuring out which one to go with. His choices are kind of ambitious."

"Well, like he said," Jake winked, "we have chemistry."

"That we do." Ryder pursed his lips and nodded slowly, but Jake caught on.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course." Yep, that's convincing.

"Hey guys!" Marley popped up, beaming. "I got copies of the music sheets. Ready to go?"

"Wait, what?" Jake eyed Marley with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yeah, don't you guys need someone on keyboard? Brad's got the flu."

"I asked Marley to help out," Ryder said. "It'd be better to have another ear to keep us on point."

"I said I was putting in a hundred," Marley said. "I'm not letting anybody down, and I'm starting with my two favorite guys. To the auditorium!" She pointed excitedly into the air, then she skipped away, leaving Ryder and Jake to follow, amused. From his short glances, Ryder could see that his friend was a little peeved—good, stay peeved.

The auditorium was chilly, and Ryder rubbed his shoulders as they set up shop in the front row. Marley was buzzing around, busy as a bee, and she had their sheets set up and the keyboard hooked up in no time.

"Are you cold?" Jake asked. Ryder nodded, and Jake shook off his leather jacket and held it out to him. Ryder stared at it, surprised, and Jake waved it in front of him. "Take it."

"No."

"But you're cold."

"But I'm not wearing your jacket."

"What's wrong with my jacket?"

"It's _yours_."

"Fine." He threw the jacket angrily onto a seat behind them, then he hopped onto the stage.

Marley did a few scales on the keyboard, then she flashed Ryder a thumbs-up. "Alright, should we try _Kiss You_, first."

"One Direction?" Jake snorted. "Hell no."

"Okay… but Finn left some good notes on here."

"I though the point was to be gritty."

"What about _My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark_? That's current, and it's a club-stomper."

"I love Fall Out Boy," Ryder said with a smile.

"I'm still waiting to see something gritty. Let me see those." Jake took some of the music sheets and flipped through them. Marley shrugged and hopped off the stage. She plopped down next to Ryder.

"How was that test?"

"Geography? Pretty awful."

"You studied really hard for it. I'm sure you did good."

"No, I'm sure I didn't. I dazed off halfway through the test. I'm going to fail this class…" Ryder wiped at his face, frustrated. "How am I going to tell my dad?"

"Don't stress out over it, it's just one test." Marley punched Ryder playfully in the arm. "You're really smart, Ryder. No test can show just how smart you are, and if Mr. Crankers can't see that, then too bad for him."

Ryder smiled. "Thanks."

"Marley, what about this?" Jake called from the stage. Marley patted Ryder encouragingly on the arm and she scurried back up the stage. Ryder was simply not in the mood for singing and dancing; his mind was so tired, it made his body feel slow.

_Bzzz_. Ryder checked his phone, hoping it wasn't the weird horse pic again that people had been sending him. What he found instead was a video.

"Please don't be horse porn," Ryder pleaded the Internet gods, then he played the video. He was surprised to immediately see the very room he was sitting in, and a certain Jake Puckerman was center-stage. Jake was mouthing something to himself, then he started playing a song on the stereo and dancing. He was so graceful, like his body was merely a tool for his art, and it did whatever he wished. Ryder was captured, despite the fuzzy video quality, and when Jake whipped off his shirt in the end and thrust sensually at the air, Ryder sucked air in through his teeth and exited the video.

_Why, why, why?!_ Ryder looked up at Jake and Marley on the stage. They each had an arm around the other, and they were speaking in low voices. Ryder indulged himself and peeked at the video again. This time, he paused at the beginning and replayed it, trying to figure out what Jake was mouthing. _My dreams aren't safe_. Was that it?

"Hey, we should do Hall of Fame," Jake said. "It's not gritty, but it's… real."

"I guess."

Jake glanced over at Rider. "What do you think?"

"Sounds too dreamy." Ryder didn't even look up from his phone.

"We're in a glee club. What isn't dreamy?"

"I don't know. I'm just not in the mood."

Jake groaned. "We don't have time. Regionals is in a week, and we have to be perfect."

"We can't be perfect," Marley said, "but we can be great. We just have to focus." Marley hopped off the stage and held out her hand. Ryder looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What?"

"Phone."

"Excuse me?"

"From now on, no electronics during rehearsal."

"With the exception of the amp," Jake snickered, "and the keyboard, and the soundboard, and our speakers, and the strobe lights for the girls' dance sequence—"

"Off topic!" Marley waved her hand again, and Ryder switched his phone off and handed it to her.

"Jeesh, you're worse than Ms. Bletheim."

"No, I'm disciplined." Marley tucked the phone in her pocket and stepped back onto the stage. "Well? Get up, we have harmonies to work on."

"I think you'll like this one," Jake said as he set a disk in the stereo. Ryder joined them on the stage.

"You guys just wait," Marley said as she turned on the keyboard. "When Regionals comes around, our names will be in lights." She pressed her fingers to the keys, and the auditorium crackled as a booming sound filled the school. Screams were heard, then the lights went out.

"What the hell?" Jake stumbled over a stool, and Marley pulled out her phone, illuminating Ryder's scared face with a narrow beam of pale light.

"It's like before," he said. "Someone brought a gun again."

"Nobody cares I just fell on my face?" Jake groaned from the floor.

Static could be heard, then Principal Figgins's voice spoke across the school. "Students and staff, do not be alarmed. A fuse has busted, and we will be without power for at most thirty-six hours. Most of the power from the generators has been conserved to keep the coffeemaker in the teacher's lounge running as well as my personal massage chair. Please remain calm."

"Seriously?!" Marley kicked her bag across the floor. "How are we supposed to practice now? I'm putting in a hundred!" Her phone buzzed as she was storming away, and she answered it with an angry "Hello?"

"It's only a day," Ryder said to Jake as he helped him up. "So we miss a day of practice, but we don't need to see to sing."

"I'm not worried about our singing. I'm taking the lead in the first dance number."

"Then we'll go outside. Nothing beats natural light, right?"

"I guess."

"Sure," Marley said as she hung up the phone. "Mr. Shue wants us to meet him in the choir room. He and Finn changed up rehearsals because of the power outage."

"At least I have an excuse to ditch Cheerios practice," Jake muttered.

"Since when are you a Cheerio?" Ryder frowned at Jake curiously.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Well, come on," Marley urged them as she gathered up their music sheets. Ryder followed after her, stumbling over the same stool Jake had earlier. A hand caught him, and he stood to find Jake's arm around his waist.

"You okay?" Jake asked, and in the semi-darkness, Ryder could just barely see his lips parting, unsure, afraid, longing.

"I'm fine." Ryder pulled away from him more forcefully than he'd intended, and he sped after Marley, his ears burning and his heart aching. Jake stood in the darkness on the stage and let them go.

"Wow," he sighed. "I made it all up in my head." He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared out from the stage, then he shouldered his backpack and exited stage-left.

* * *

**I've been gone for a long time. Somehow through double-shifts, research papers, and hospitalization, I've written these two chapters. Yes, there is a 10****th****. It needs to be revised, but it's coming. I hope I haven't become irrelevant.**

**—Blackbyrd**


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